7 signs your poor social skills are holding you back at work

Ever hear that saying, “It’s not what you know, it’s who you know”?

Well, there’s a lot of truth to it. Especially in the workplace.

Here’s the thing: Even with excellent skills and knowledge, poor social skills can hold you back at work.

Business, like life, revolves around relationships, so how you interact socially matters.

Let me help you out with this—here are 7 signs that your social skills (or lack thereof) might just be the invisible hurdle holding you back at work.

1) You’re not a team player

Ever heard the phrase “there’s no ‘I’ in team”?

Well, it’s true. And it’s especially crucial in the workplace.

Companies thrive on collaboration. It’s all about working together, combining strengths, and sharing ideas. If you tend to work alone and avoid group projects as much as possible, that might be a red flag.

Now, don’t get me wrong. Independence is great. But too much of it could signal that you’re not comfortable working with others or that you don’t value the input of your colleagues.

2) You struggle with small talk

Now, I get it. Small talk can feel, well, small.

I remember a time when I thought it was nothing more than a time-filler. An awkward silence breaker. A way to pass the time until the “real” conversation could start.

Boy, was I wrong.

Turns out, small talk is a pretty big deal. It’s how we connect with others, break down walls, and build relationships. It’s the stepping stone to deeper conversations and meaningful interactions.

Remembering this helped me immensely in my professional life. When I started to embrace small talk instead of avoiding it, I noticed a significant shift in my relationships with my colleagues.

Your aversion to small talk could be one of the signs your social skills are holding you back at work.

3) You’ve got a knack for killing conversations

Ever found yourself in a situation where you’re chatting with a co-worker, and suddenly you realize the conversation has hit a dead end, and it’s your fault?

Yes, I’ve been there too.

You see, communication isn’t just about talking. It’s about listening, understanding, and responding appropriately. It’s an art, a delicate dance between two people.

But if your moves consist of one-word responses and a lack of engaging follow-up questions, you’re effectively stepping on your partner’s toes, killing the rhythm.

And let’s be real – nobody likes to dance with a partner who doesn’t know how to keep the rhythm.

4) You’re constantly interrupting others

Now here’s a tough pill to swallow.

If you often find yourself cutting people off mid-sentence, it’s a clear sign your social skills need some work.

I know, I know. Sometimes, we get so excited about a topic that we can’t contain ourselves. We just have to share our brilliant ideas right away!

However, interrupting others can make them feel unvalued and unheard. It also sends the message that you think your ideas are more important than theirs.

Believe me when I tell you that nobody likes to work with a person who comes off as self-centered or dismissive.

Allow others to finish speaking before you add your thoughts. Trust me, your colleagues will appreciate it, and your social skills will thank you for it.

5) You’re terrible at reading body language

Did you know that more than half of our communication is non-verbal?

That’s right. It’s not just about what we say, but how we say it and the body language that goes along with it.

So, if you’re oblivious to the non-verbal cues of others, you’re missing a massive piece of the conversation.

Imagine this. Your boss is crossing his arms and avoiding eye contact while you’re presenting an idea.

If you’re not picking up on these signs, you might continue enthusiastically, oblivious to the fact that your idea isn’t being well-received.

Being able to read and respond to body language can not only save you from such awkward situations but also help you build better relationships at work.

6) You don’t show empathy to your colleagues

We all have bad days. Days when we’re not feeling our best, when things are going wrong, and we’re barely holding it together.

Empathy – the ability to understand and share the feelings of others – is a cornerstone of good social skills. It’s what helps us form deep, meaningful connections with others.

If you struggle with showing empathy, it can make your colleagues feel that you don’t care about them or their experiences.

Take a moment to step into your colleague’s shoes when they’re having a tough time. It may seem small, but these gestures can have a big impact on your relationships at work.

7) You don’t respect boundaries

In the workplace, boundaries are everything. They define what’s acceptable and what’s not, both in terms of tasks and interpersonal relationships.

If you’re constantly overstepping these boundaries – be it by taking credit for others’ work, making inappropriate comments, or not respecting personal space – it can make your colleagues feel uncomfortable and disrespected.

Moving forward

If these signs resonate with you, don’t worry—it’s just the start of improvement. Social skills, like any other skill, can be developed with awareness and practice.

Start by identifying any habits that may be hindering you, such as difficulty with teamwork, small talk, or interruptions.

Then, work on improving through active listening, empathy, respecting boundaries, and learning about body language.

Change takes time and involves small steps, but each effort will positively impact your professional life.

Building better relationships at work can lead to a more harmonious environment and career growth. Reflect on your current state and take the first step towards improvement.

Before you go, remember this quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson, “The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be.”