Think respect just “comes with time”?
Not quite. It’s not about how long you’ve been around but how you show up, day in and day out.
Some behaviors—like interrupting or downplaying others—are subtle yet powerful enough to slowly erode how people see you.
If respect is one of your personal goals, consider it time to say goodbye to these habits.
We’ll break down eight behaviors that might be holding you back and why removing them can be a game-changer for how you’re perceived.
Ready to level up? Let’s start by learning what not to do.
1) Being a know-it-all
It’s not uncommon to come across people who believe they’re experts on just about everything. But let me tell you, it’s not a trait that earns respect.
In fact, it’s just the opposite. Consistently acting like a know-it-all can quickly turn people off. People appreciate humility and the willingness to learn from others, regardless of their position or status.
So, if you’re striving to be a well-respected person, it’s time to ditch the know-it-all attitude.
Open your mind, acknowledge that there is always more to learn, and show genuine interest in other people’s perspectives. It’s not just about being respectful, it also shows maturity and wisdom.
2) Being unkind
Kindness is a trait that’s often undervalued. But it’s a key to earning respect.
I remember a time when I was working on a project with a team. There was this one colleague who was always ready to help and never missed an opportunity to show kindness.
Even in the most stressful situations, he’d maintain his composure and treat everyone with respect.
Over time, he became the person we all turned to for advice or help, not just because of his technical skills, but because of his kindness and respect towards others.
He stood as a shining example of how kindness could earn you respect from those around you.
So, if you’re striving to be well-respected, remember that kindness is never wasted.
Treat people well, show empathy, and maintain your composure, even in tough situations. Your actions will earn you the respect you desire.
3) Breaking promises
Did you know that the human brain is actually wired to value trust? Neuroscientists have found that when trust is broken, our brains respond in a similar way as they do to physical pain.
Keeping your word is an integral part of being a well-respected person.
Each time you break a promise or go back on your word, it chips away at the respect others have for you. It signals unreliability, and over time, people may start to question your integrity.
Ultimately, if you say you’re going to do something, follow through. It’s one of the simplest yet most effective ways to earn respect and trust from those around you.
4) Gossiping
It might seem harmless, perhaps even enjoyable at times, but gossiping is a behavior you’ll want to quit if you aim to be well-respected.
Gossiping can damage relationships and erode trust. It also sends the message that you cannot be trusted with confidential information.
Over time, people begin to distance themselves from individuals who have a habit of spreading gossip.
So, if your goal is to become a well-respected person, it’s time to say goodbye to gossip.
Instead, focus on building trust and maintaining confidentiality. You’ll find that people will respect you more for your discretion and integrity.
5) Being judgmental
We all have our own stories, our own struggles, and our own journeys. When we choose to judge others based on their choices or circumstances, we close the door to understanding and empathy.
Being judgmental can create barriers between people and breed negativity. It’s a behavior that doesn’t earn respect but rather pushes people away.
If you want to be a well-respected person, strive to be understanding and accepting of others. Keep your heart open, your mind curious, and your words kind.
You’ll find that as you treat others with compassion and respect, they’ll be more likely to reciprocate those feelings towards you.
6) Avoiding responsibility
I once had a significant project fail. It was a tough blow, and my first instinct was to blame the circumstances, the lack of resources, the tight deadline.
But deep down, I knew that I could have done better.
Avoiding responsibility and shifting blame is an easy way out but it doesn’t earn respect.
Taking responsibility for your actions, especially when things go wrong, shows that you have integrity and courage.
If you’re aiming to be a well-respected person, embrace responsibility.
When you make mistakes, own up to them. Learn from them and strive to do better.
7) Being inauthentic
There’s something compelling about authenticity.
People are drawn to those who are genuine and real, because it’s so rare in a world where many try to fit into certain molds.
Being inauthentic, on the other hand, can be off-putting. It gives people a sense that you’re not trustworthy or reliable.
If you want to be a well-respected person, be true to yourself.
Embrace your uniqueness and let it shine.
Authenticity is magnetic, and people respect those who are comfortable in their own skin and aren’t afraid to show their true selves.
8) Disregarding others’ feelings
At the heart of respect lies empathy, the ability to understand and share the feelings of others.
If you disregard others’ feelings, you’re likely to come across as cold and uncaring, which is the opposite of being respected.
Understanding and acknowledging others’ feelings is a powerful way to show respect.
It shows that you value them as individuals and care about their experiences.
So, if your goal is to become a well-respected person, remember to always consider others’ feelings.
It’s not just about what you do, but also how you make people feel.
Final thoughts: Respect is reciprocal
At the end of the day, respect isn’t something that can be demanded or bought.
It’s earned through actions, through consistency, and most importantly, through treating others the way we wish to be treated.
The Greek philosopher Socrates once said, “Regard your good name as the richest jewel you can possibly be possessed of.”
And indeed, respect is a cornerstone of that good name.
As we journey towards becoming well-respected individuals, let’s remember that it’s a process. There will be days when we falter and make mistakes.
But with each mistake comes an opportunity to learn, to grow, and to inch closer to the person we aspire to be.
So as we bid goodbye to these behaviors that hinder respect, let’s welcome kindness, authenticity, responsibility and empathy.
In doing so, we not only earn respect from others but also cultivate a deeper respect for ourselves.
Remember, respect starts from within.
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