7 behaviors of people who were rarely told “no” as a child, says a psychologist

Ever met someone who seems to expect everything to go their way, no questions asked?

According to psychologists, growing up without boundaries or limits can shape certain behaviors in adulthood. The way we were parented can influence how we relate to others and handle challenges.

Children who were rarely told “no” often struggle with frustration, entitlement, and even respect for others’ boundaries as they get older.

Here are seven common behaviors that tend to show up in adults who seldom heard “no” as kids.

1) Entitlement

Imagine someone who’s always the first to grab the best seat, expects their friends to change plans just for them, or feels slighted when they’re not the center of attention.

If you’ve encountered someone like this, you might be dealing with a person who grew up rarely hearing “no.”

According to psychology, when a child doesn’t learn limits early on, they may enter adulthood with a sense that the world revolves around their needs and wants.

This can show up in everyday situations—like expecting a partner to always choose their favorite restaurant or getting upset when a friend can’t drop everything to help.

It’s not just about wanting things to go their way; it’s the feeling that they deserve special treatment simply because that’s what they’re used to.

Over time, this attitude can wear down relationships, as people may feel used or unappreciated.

It’s not entirely their fault, though. As I said earlier, we’re creatures of our environment. Still, it’s an unfortunate pattern that can cause significant issues in their adult life if not recognized and addressed.

2) Difficulty with compromise

This is closely connected to my previous point. People who grew up never having been told “no” find it difficult to compromise as adults.

I’ll never forget my college roommate, Mark. He was a great guy, but he had a really hard time when things didn’t go his way.

Mark was an only child and his parents rarely denied him anything. From the latest video games to his own car at 16, if Mark asked for it, he got it.

This pattern continued in college. If he wanted to throw a party in our shared space while I needed to study, he struggled to understand why I would say “no”.

If we disagreed on something as simple as what movie to watch, he’d sulk if we didn’t pick his choice.

His difficulty with compromise was rooted in his childhood. He wasn’t used to not getting his way and didn’t know how to navigate a situation where he had to consider someone else’s wants or needs.

It was a hard lesson for him to learn, but an important one nevertheless.

3) Lack of patience

Did you know that patience is a skill that’s learned, not an innate characteristic?

People who were rarely told “no” as children often struggle to develop this skill. Constantly getting their way and having their demands met immediately doesn’t allow for the cultivation of patience.

In adult life, this manifests as frustration with waiting – be it for a long line at the grocery store, a promotion at work, or even waiting for a friend who’s running late.

The concept of delay is foreign and uncomfortable to them, leading to impatience and, often, impulsivity.

This affirms what psychologist Dr. David Bredehoft writes in his discussion on overindulgence: “In our eighth study on overindulgence, we found that childhood overindulgence leads to the inability to delay gratification, ungratefulness, an increase in materialistic values, and overall unhappiness in adulthood.”

To develop patience, those struggling with this issue might try focusing on small moments of delay, using them as chances to breathe and reflect. Over time, embracing these pauses can foster resilience and lead to a more balanced, contented outlook on life.

4) Struggles with empathy

Empathy isn’t just about understanding someone else’s feelings, it’s also about recognizing and respecting their boundaries.

For those who were rarely told “no” as a child, they may have missed out on learning this critical social skill.

As the folks at MindShift Psychological Services explain, “A spoiled child may struggle to empathize with others’ feelings and experiences. Their self-centeredness can hinder their capacity to understand and connect with the emotions of those around them.”

In other words, the idea of stepping back and truly seeing someone else’s perspective can feel foreign.

For instance, they might overlook when a friend is having a rough day or assume their own problems take priority in every situation.

It’s not that they’re intentionally being self-centered; they just might not have learned how to see beyond their own needs.

5) High expectations

In my experience, people who weren’t often told “no” as kids tend to set incredibly high expectations for themselves, others, and just about everything around them.

It’s like they’ve grown up assuming that things should go their way—no questions asked.

I had a friend in high school who was the perfect example. She’d always been given what she wanted and naturally expected everyone to cater to her needs.

If a plan didn’t revolve around her or if something didn’t go exactly as she imagined, she’d be genuinely shocked, like reality itself was out of line.

Later on, those high expectations followed her into adulthood. I remember hearing her vent about how a new job wasn’t living up to her “standards” or how she was constantly disappointed in her partners because they couldn’t measure up to her idealized version of a relationship.

Unfortunately, she often felt let down because, well, reality rarely aligns perfectly with our desires.

Managing expectations is key to building emotional resilience and maturity.

Learning to accept that we can’t control everything (or everyone) around us helps us approach life with more patience and gratitude.

It’s not about lowering standards but learning to balance them with flexibility and understanding.

6) Fear of failure

Failure can be a tough pill to swallow for anyone, but for those who were rarely told “no” as children, it can be especially daunting.

Growing up with constant affirmation and getting everything they want can make the concept of failure unfamiliar and terrifying.

They may have never learned how to cope with not achieving their goals or facing rejection.

This fear can hold them back in life, preventing them from taking risks or stepping out of their comfort zone.

Understanding this fear of failure can help in fostering patience and providing the necessary support to help these individuals navigate life’s inevitable ups and downs.

7) Struggling with self-awareness

The most significant thing to know about people who were rarely told “no” as a child is their struggle with self-awareness.

Without hearing “no”, they may have missed out on opportunities to learn about their strengths and weaknesses, their boundaries, and how their actions affect others.

As adults, this lack of self-awareness can manifest in various ways – from being oblivious to the feelings of others, to not understanding why they react certain ways to different situations.

Self-awareness is a critical aspect of emotional intelligence and personal growth.

It’s something that can be learned and developed over time, but it requires acknowledgment, understanding, and the willingness to change.

Final thoughts

As frustrating as these behaviors may be, the good news is, they aren’t set in stone.

With self-awareness and a willingness to grow, anyone can work on these tendencies and build healthier relationships.

Recognizing these patterns is already a huge first step toward positive change. By learning to respect boundaries, manage expectations, and practice patience, individuals can foster deeper connections and a more fulfilling, balanced life.

Just because we didn’t hear “no” as kids doesn’t mean we can’t learn the value of it as adults. And sometimes, embracing a few boundaries is exactly what we need to find genuine happiness and harmony in our relationships.