Let me tell you something about change and age.
As we grow older, we often become more resistant to change.
Without even noticing, we start adopting certain habits that strengthen this resistance.
I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder of Hack Spirit and a mindfulness enthusiast. I’ve noticed this trend not just in others, but in myself too.
In the upcoming piece, I’ll explore these 7 habits and shed light on why we unknowingly become set in our ways as we age.
Let’s get started!
1) Sticking to the comfort zone
We all tend to seek comfort, right? It’s human nature. But as we age, this tendency can become a habit that hinders change.
This is something I’ve seen time and again, not just in others, but also in myself. As we get older, it’s easy to fall into the trap of sticking to what’s familiar—our comfort zone.
The comfort zone is a safe place, where everything is predictable and there are no surprises. But it’s also a place where growth is limited.
The idea of stepping outside this safe haven might seem daunting and unsettling. So, we stick to our routines, our tried and tested ways of doing things, without realizing that this very habit is making us resistant to change.
But here’s the thing – change is the only constant in life. And as the famous psychologist Carl Rogers once said, “The only person who is educated is the one who has learned how to learn and change.”
2) Fear of the unknown
Now, let’s talk about another habit we unknowingly adopt as we grow older – the fear of the unknown.
I remember a time when I was offered an opportunity to speak at a mindfulness conference overseas. It was a new country, a different culture and I knew no one there. My initial reaction was hesitation. Why? Because it was unknown territory.
But then I realized that this fear was holding me back from an experience that could be enriching in numerous ways.
We often associate the unknown with risk, danger or failure. However, this habit of fearing the unknown only fortifies our resistance to change and limits our growth.
The unknown can be daunting, but it’s also where new possibilities and opportunities lie.
3) Not embracing the present
As we grow older, we often fall into the habit of living anywhere but in the present. We dwell on past memories, reliving moments we can’t change, or we anxiously fixate on an uncertain future.
This might seem harmless, but it shapes how we approach life’s transitions. By being stuck in the past or preoccupied with the future, we overlook the opportunities unfolding in the here and now.
This is where mindfulness becomes a valuable practice. Being fully present in the moment allows us to engage with life as it happens. It teaches us that change isn’t a threat to be avoided but a natural and transformative part of living.
Mindfulness encourages us to release rigid expectations and greet new experiences with curiosity and acceptance. It shifts our perspective, helping us see change as a doorway to growth rather than something to fear.
As Thich Nhat Hanh reminds us, “Life is available only in the present moment.” Embracing this wisdom enables us to truly live, adapt, and thrive in the face of change.
4) Neglecting to develop emotional flexibility
The fourth habit that often sneaks into our lives as we age is neglecting to develop emotional flexibility. Emotional flexibility is the ability to adapt our emotional responses based on the situation at hand.
A lack of emotional flexibility can make us more resistant to change. We get stuck in certain emotional patterns and responses, which can prevent us from reacting appropriately to new situations or changes.
Psychology tells us that emotional flexibility is key to dealing with life’s uncertainties. It allows us to cope with change in a healthier way, reducing the stress and anxiety that often come with it.
Practicing mindfulness, developing self-awareness, and learning to accept our emotions without judgement are all ways to increase our emotional flexibility.
As renowned psychologist Dr. Susan David said, “Emotional agility is not about ignoring difficult emotions and thoughts. It’s about holding those emotions and thoughts loosely, facing them courageously and compassionately, and then moving past them to ignite change in your life.”
5) Overvaluing stability
Here’s a counter-intuitive habit that often becomes more pronounced as we age: overvaluing stability.
Sounds odd, doesn’t it? After all, stability is generally regarded as a good thing. It provides a sense of security and predictability, which can be comforting.
However, when we place too high a value on stability, we can become resistant to any changes that threaten to disrupt our status quo. We may start to see change as a risk, rather than an opportunity for growth or improvement.
While stability can provide a necessary foundation, an overemphasis on maintaining it can lead to stagnation. Instead, striking a balance between stability and adaptability allows for both security and growth.
Change might be unsettling at first, but once embraced, it can lead to a deeper sense of stability and peace.
6) Ignoring the power of curiosity
There was a time when a new project landed on my desk. It was something I’d never done before, and honestly, it scared me. I could have easily passed it on to someone else, but I didn’t. Instead, I chose to be curious.
Ignoring the power of curiosity is another habit that can creep up on us as we age. We start to feel like we’ve seen it all, done it all. We forget the thrill of learning something new, of exploring the unknown.
But curiosity is a powerful ally when it comes to embracing change. It pushes us to explore new possibilities, to learn and grow. It helps us see change not as a threat, but as an opportunity.
Albert Einstein famously said, “I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious.” If one of the greatest minds in history valued curiosity so highly, maybe we should too.
7) Avoiding discomfort
As we age, we tend to develop a habit of avoiding discomfort at all costs. It’s understandable—discomfort is, well, uncomfortable. We’d rather stick with what we know and where we’re at ease.
But here’s the catch—avoiding discomfort often means avoiding change. Because let’s be honest, change can be uncomfortable. It asks us to step out of our comfort zones and venture into the unknown.
However, it’s in this space of discomfort that we often find the most growth. By stepping into the discomfort and embracing change, we open ourselves up to new experiences and possibilities.
Psychologist M. Scott Peck put it perfectly when he said, “The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.”
The final takeaway
Change is an inevitable part of life, a constant companion on our journey. As we age, it’s natural to develop habits that make us more resistant to change, often without even realizing it.
But understanding these habits is the first step towards addressing them. It’s about recognizing our tendencies, and then consciously working to cultivate a more open, adaptable mindset.
Whether it’s stepping out of our comfort zone, embracing curiosity, or learning to see risk as an opportunity, these habits can be unlearned. And in their place, we can cultivate a mindset that not only accepts change, but thrives on it.
Ultimately, the goal isn’t to stop aging or to stop changing. It’s to age with grace and wisdom, embracing the changes that come our way as opportunities for continued growth and development.
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