Couples who were platonic friends before getting together typically display these 8 traits, according to psychology


There’s a distinct difference between couples who jumped straight into romance and those who were platonic friends first.

It all comes down to understanding. Couples who were friends first have a deeper knowledge of each other’s quirks, passions, and pet peeves before the romantic sparks flew.

According to psychology, these couples exhibit certain traits that set them apart. And if you’re curious, or maybe even considering diving into romance with a friend, knowing these traits can be illuminating.

Here’s a sneak peek into the world of couples who were platonic friends before they got together.

1) Deep understanding

There’s one thing that couples who were platonic friends before they got together have in spades – deep understanding.

These couples started as friends. They already had a solid groundwork of shared experiences and mutual respect before they added romance to the mix.

This prior friendship allows them to understand each other’s values, passions, and quirks on a more intimate level. It’s like having a shortcut to a deeper connection.

According to psychology, this deep understanding translates into a stronger bond and better communication, which are key for any successful relationship.

2) Patience and perseverance

Patience and perseverance are traits that stand out in couples who were platonic friends first. But let me share a personal story to illustrate this.

You see, my partner and I were friends for years before we started dating. We navigated through shared hobbies, mutual friends, and countless coffee chats long before love entered the equation.

And through those years of friendship, we learned to be patient. We understood that good things take time and rushed decisions often lead to regret.

We also learned to persevere. We stuck by each other through thick and thin, supporting each other during tough times.

When we finally decided to take our relationship to the next level, these traits of patience and perseverance came in handy.

They helped us go through the initial awkward phase of transitioning from friends to lovers.

So, if you find yourself in a similar situation, remember, patience and perseverance aren’t just virtues, they’re potential game-changers.

3) Lower levels of infatuation

Couples who have a history of platonic friendship often exhibit lower levels of infatuation in the early stages of their romantic relationship. Why?

Well, it’s because they’ve already sailed past the phase of idealization and intense attraction that typically marks new relationships. They’re well aware of each other’s imperfections and have accepted them.

According to a study, these couples are less likely to break up in the initial stages of their romantic relationship and more likely to be satisfied with their relationship long-term.

So while the whirlwind romance and fiery passion might not be as intense, the stability and satisfaction in these relationships can be higher, creating a strong foundation for a lasting bond.

4) Shared history

There’s something unique about couples who were friends before they started dating – they share a history. This isn’t just about knowing each other’s past, but rather, having lived through it together.

These couples have shared experiences, memories, and moments that predate their romantic involvement. This shared history not only strengthens their bond but also provides a sense of continuity in their relationship.

Imagine having a partner who was there when you landed your first job, or someone who comforted you during a personal loss.

This shared history creates a level of intimacy and trust that is hard to replicate in relationships that jump straight into romance.

If you’re transitioning from friendship to romance, appreciate the unique asset you have – a shared history. It’s a treasure trove of moments and memories that can enrich your relationship in more ways than one.

5) Authenticity

One of the most beautiful traits you’ll find in couples who were friends first is authenticity. There’s no need for pretenses or putting on a façade – they’ve seen each other at their best and their worst, and they’ve chosen to love each other anyway.

There’s something incredibly heartfelt about this. It’s about knowing that your partner loves you for who you truly are, not some polished version you present to the world.

It’s about being able to be yourself, with all your quirks and idiosyncrasies, and knowing that you’re accepted and loved just as you are.

You see, when romance blossoms from friendship, it’s not just about attraction or chemistry. It’s about a deep, authentic connection that stems from knowing and accepting each other at a fundamental level.

6) Overcoming awkwardness

Transitioning from friendship to romance can be awkward. You’re shifting gears from a platonic relationship to one that’s filled with romantic expectations. And let me tell you, it can feel like navigating a minefield.

I remember when my partner and I first made that transition. Suddenly, we were noticing things about each other that we’d never paid attention to before. Everything felt new, different, and yes, incredibly awkward.

But here’s the thing. This awkwardness isn’t necessarily a bad thing. In fact, it can be a catalyst for growth.

It forces you to communicate more openly, to confront your feelings head-on, and to redefine your boundaries.

So if you’re experiencing this awkwardness, know that you’re not alone. It’s just a phase.

With time and understanding, it will pass, leaving behind a stronger and more intimate relationship.

7) Open communication

Couples who were friends before dating typically have a solid foundation of open communication. They’ve already established a rapport and a level of comfort in expressing their thoughts and feelings.

In a romantic relationship, this open line of communication is invaluable. It allows for better conflict resolution, mutual understanding, and emotional intimacy.

Imagine being able to share your deepest fears, your biggest dreams, or your silliest thoughts without fear of judgment. That’s the level of communication we’re talking about.

If you’re transitioning from being friends to lovers, remember the importance of maintaining this open communication. It’s one of the key elements that can make your relationship thrive.

8) A shared vision

The most important trait of couples who were friends before getting together is that they often share a vision for their future.

They’ve likely had numerous conversations about their goals, dreams, and aspirations – and they’ve found common ground.

This shared vision acts as a compass for their relationship, guiding them through the highs and lows.

It’s the glue that binds them together, the shared dream that they’re working towards.

Final thoughts

As noted by relationship expert Dr. John Gottman, “Happy marriages are based on a deep friendship.” This statement rings particularly true for couples who transition from friendship to love.

Reflect on these traits and remember, every relationship is unique.

Whether it began with a spark of romance or years of friendship, what truly matters is the love you share and the memories you build together.



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