If you’ve ever been close to a narcissist, you know they always seem to need to be right—it’s an exhausting cycle that can leave you feeling questioned and belittled.
Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a real mental health diagnosis, not just an adjective for someone who’s overly confident.
This behavior is rooted in their desire for control and validation, often at the expense of others.
According to psychology, here are eight common phrases narcissists use to maintain their perceived dominance and reinforce their need to always be right.
Recognizing these phrases can help you navigate interactions with them more effectively:
1) “I never said that?”
This phrase is a classic example of gaslighting, a common manipulation technique used by narcissists.
In their quest to always be right, they might rewrite reality and deny ever saying something, even when you clearly remember it.
For instance, imagine a scenario where the narcissist made a hurtful comment.
When you express your feelings about it, they retaliate with, “I never said that.”
Suddenly, you find yourself questioning your own memory and perception, which is exactly what the narcissist wants.
They are effectively shifting the blame onto you and making themselves seem blameless.
This tactic not only protects their need to be right but also creates confusion and self-doubt in you.
The goal is to destabilize your sense of reality and make you less likely to challenge them in the future.
2) “You’re too sensitive!”
While this phrase might seem like a concern for your emotional wellbeing on the surface, it’s often a veiled attempt by narcissists to invalidate your feelings and experiences.
For example, if you express discomfort or hurt over something a narcissist has said or done, they may respond with “You’re too sensitive”, thereby shifting the blame onto you.
It’s as if your reaction is the problem, not their action.
The insidious nature of this phrase is that it can make you question your emotional responses.
You might start believing you are overly sensitive and start disregarding your feelings, which is precisely what the narcissist wants.
3) “I’m just being honest…”
Narcissists often resort to brutal honesty under the guise of being helpful or authentic.
They might say something hurtful, then follow it up with, “I’m just being honest.”—which is their way of justifying their need to assert superiority and belittle others.
In reality, this is a form of psychological abuse known as ‘truth dumping,’ sharing harsh or unwanted opinions without considering the emotional impact on the other person.
The intention isn’t to help, but to dominate and control.
Narcissists use this tactic to position themselves as the ‘voice of reason’ and ultimately shut down any form of challenge or disagreement.
4) “Nobody else thinks that.”
Imagine expressing your thoughts or feelings to a narcissist, only to be met with, “Nobody else thinks that.”
Uttering this phrase is a subtle attempt to isolate you and make your views seem invalid or unusual.
In such instances, remember that your feelings and thoughts are valid.
It’s perfectly fine to have unique views or reactions—you are not alone, even if it may sometimes feel that way.
It’s crucial to remember that everyone deserves respect and understanding, regardless of how their views may differ from others.
5) “You’re overreacting!”
This phrase might ring a bell if you’ve ever had a disagreement or argument with a narcissist.
“You’re overreacting” is commonly used by them to dismiss your feelings and opinions.
Let’s say you’re upset about something they did or said.
Instead of acknowledging their mistake or trying to understand your perspective, they label your response as an overreaction.
This is a way for them to avoid taking responsibility for their actions and to make you second-guess your reactions.
It’s key to remember that your emotions are valid, and being upset or hurt by someone’s actions is a natural response, not an overreaction.
6) “I was just joking!”
This phrase is a common defense mechanism used by narcissists when they are called out for their hurtful comments or actions, as noted in a study from the Journal of Current Psychology.
They might say something offensive or mean, and when you express your hurt or anger, they quickly shift gears and claim, “I was just joking.”
For example, a friend once told me that her partner would continually belittle her career choices.
When she confronted him about it, he shrugged it off as a joke.
This tactic is used to make you doubt your feelings and reactions, to make you feel like you’re not ‘fun’ or ‘light-hearted’.
It’s simply a masked attempt at asserting dominance or control.
7) “You just don’t get it…”
You can consider this phrase as a blanket dismissal used by narcissists when they want to shut down a conversation or avoid taking responsibility for their actions, essentially blaming you for not understanding—rather than addressing the issue at hand.
Honestly, it’s time to take a step back and evaluate the situation: Are you constantly made to feel like you’re the one misunderstanding?
Communication is a two-way street; stand your ground and don’t let them evade accountability.
8) “If you really knew me…”
Commonly a manipulation tool used by narcissists, this phrase aims to make you feel guilty for misunderstanding them or not seeing things their way.
It’s as though they’re saying, “If you really knew me, you would agree with me.”
Here’s the most important thing to remember: You’re not required to agree with everything someone says just because you know them well.
It’s perfectly okay to have differing opinions and to stand your ground.
In any healthy relationship, your thoughts, feelings, and perspectives should be respected.
Understanding the patterns and tactics of narcissists can help you maintain your mental health and self-esteem in such challenging dynamics.
Always remember, your voice matters.
Conclusion
Navigating relationships with narcissists is challenging, but it doesn’t define who you are.
Remember, your feelings and experiences are valid, and you deserve respect and understanding.
Being truly wise means understanding that your worth is about knowing that it’s okay to disagree and stand your ground.
Here’s to leading a more self-aware, confident life!
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