7 subtle signs you need to start taking greater control of your life


Life is a fascinating journey filled with twists, turns, and unexpected detours. It can often feel like we’re simply along for the ride, swept up in the current of external circumstances.

Yet, there’s a distinct difference between being a passenger and being the driver of your own life. The latter requires us to take ownership of our actions, attitudes, and responses – a task that’s not always easy, but always worthwhile.

Recognizing when it’s time to grab the wheel and steer can be subtle. Often, it’s signaled through whispers of discontent or unease. Paying attention to these signs is the first step towards living more authentically and freely.

Here are seven subtle signs that it might be time for you to take greater control of your life.

1) You’re constantly feeling overwhelmed

Our lives are often filled with responsibilities and tasks, from professional obligations to personal commitments. It’s a busy world, and it’s all too easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle.

However, when you constantly find yourself overwhelmed, it may be a subtle sign that you’re not in control of your life. It’s as though you’re on an ever-accelerating treadmill, trying to keep up but feeling like you’re always a step behind.

Feeling overwhelmed might be because you’re overcommitted or because you’re not setting boundaries effectively. It could also be a sign that you’re not prioritizing or managing your time effectively.

Instead of just accepting this state of constant overwhelm, take it as a signal. It’s an invitation to pause, reassess, and regain control. It might mean learning to say ‘no’ more often, setting clearer boundaries, or reassessing your priorities.

Remember that taking control of your life isn’t about doing more. Often, it’s about doing less but with greater intention and alignment with your values. It’s about making choices that support your well-being and bring you closer to your authentic self.

2) You’re neglecting your own needs

In our quest to meet the expectations of others, it’s easy to lose sight of our own needs and desires. When you consistently put others’ needs before your own, it can be a subtle sign that you’re not fully in control of your life.

I’ve found myself in this situation more than once, prioritizing others to the point where my own needs were being neglected. I learned the hard way that self-care isn’t selfish – it’s necessary.

Ignoring your needs can lead to burnout and resentment. It’s crucial to understand that caring for yourself is not a luxury but a necessity. It’s about making space for what truly matters to you, be it rest, creative pursuits, or simply time spent in reflection.

As Audre Lorde famously said, “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.”

This quote resonates deeply with me because it underscores the importance of self-care not just for our own well-being, but also as a critical part of creating a more compassionate and equitable world.

3) You’re disconnected from your passions

It’s alarmingly easy to lose touch with the things that truly ignite our spirits, especially in a world that often values productivity over passion. If you find yourself feeling disconnected from your passions, it could be a subtle sign that you need to take greater control of your life.

When we allow our interests and hobbies to fall by the wayside, we risk losing an integral part of ourselves. Our passions often reflect our deepest values and provide a sense of purpose and fulfillment that can’t be found elsewhere.

Reconnecting with your passions isn’t always straightforward, especially if you’ve been neglecting them for a while. It may require some soul-searching and exploration. Ask yourself what lights you up? What activities make you lose track of time?

For more insights on reconnecting with your passions and cultivating a life of authenticity, I invite you to watch my video where I share seven crucial life lessons that I wish I had learned earlier in life. I discuss how pursuing purpose can lead to a more fulfilling existence.

4) You’re constantly deflecting blame

It’s human nature to deflect blame when things go wrong.

We often find it easier to point fingers at external circumstances or other people, rather than owning up to our own mistakes and shortcomings. But if you find yourself constantly shifting blame, it could be a subtle sign that you need to take greater control of your life.

Constantly blaming others not only hinders your personal growth but also strains relationships and creates a cycle of negativity. This blame game keeps you stuck, preventing you from learning from your mistakes and growing from them.

Embracing personal responsibility is far from easy; it requires courage, humility, and self-awareness. But it’s an essential step towards empowerment and personal freedom. By taking responsibility for our actions, we start to steer the course of our lives rather than being swept along by it.

As I often say, we can’t control everything that happens to us, but we can control our attitudes, actions, and responses. This belief has been a cornerstone in my journey towards living a more authentic and purposeful life.

5) You’re living a life dictated by societal expectations

If you find yourself chasing society’s definition of success – whether it’s a high-paying job, a picture-perfect family, or a luxurious lifestyle – without questioning if it’s what you truly want, it might be time to take greater control of your life.

Living based on societal expectations can lead you down a path that feels empty and unfulfilling. It’s like wearing a mask, hiding your true self to fit in. This disconnect between your external actions and internal desires can create a sense of dissatisfaction and unease.

It’s essential to remember that you have the freedom to define what success means to you. It could be pursuing a passion, contributing to social good, or nurturing authentic relationships. The key is to align your actions with your values and aspirations, not someone else’s.

I delve deeper into this topic in one of my videos where I discuss the transformative power of giving up on being a ‘good person’ as defined by societal norms. In it, I emphasize the importance of recognizing our own flaws and fostering self-awareness for personal growth and authenticity.

6) You’re constantly chasing happiness

Chasing happiness seems like a noble pursuit. After all, isn’t that what we all want – to be happy? However, if you find yourself constantly on the hunt for happiness, it might be a subtle sign that you need to take greater control of your life.

The problem with the relentless pursuit of happiness is that it can turn happiness into a destination, something to be attained in the future. This mindset can make us overlook the joy and beauty in our present moments, leaving us perpetually unsatisfied.

Moreover, the reality of life is that it’s not always happy. There are ups and downs, triumphs and losses. By embracing the full spectrum of human emotions – not just happiness – we cultivate a deeper sense of resilience and authenticity.

Instead of chasing happiness, I encourage you to focus on cultivating purpose, fostering meaningful relationships, and living in alignment with your values. This approach fosters a more sustainable form of contentment that isn’t reliant on external circumstances or fleeting emotions.

7) You’re avoiding difficult conversations

Communication is the lifeblood of any relationship, whether it’s personal or professional. However, if you find yourself consistently sidestepping difficult conversations, it could be a subtle sign that you need to take greater control of your life.

Avoiding difficult conversations might seem like an easy way to maintain peace and harmony. But in reality, it often leads to unresolved issues, bottled-up emotions, and a deep sense of dissatisfaction. By not voicing your thoughts and feelings, you’re essentially giving up control over your own narrative.

Having difficult conversations requires courage and vulnerability. It’s about expressing your needs, setting boundaries, and addressing conflicts in a respectful and constructive manner. This isn’t just about resolving issues – it’s also a crucial part of fostering deeper connections with others.

Taking control of your life isn’t just about the big decisions; it’s also about these everyday moments of honesty and authenticity. By embracing difficult conversations, you’re stepping into your power and shaping your relationships in a way that aligns with your values.

Life, control, and the art of self-mastery

The journey towards taking greater control of your life is intricately tied to the concept of self-mastery.

Self-mastery isn’t about wielding control over every aspect of your life – an impossible task given the unpredictability of life. Rather, it’s about understanding and navigating your inner world with mindfulness and compassion.

When you’re constantly feeling overwhelmed, neglecting your needs, deflecting blame, or chasing societal definitions of success and happiness, it’s a signal. It’s a subtle nudge from your inner self telling you that something needs to change.

Recognizing these signs is the first step toward self-mastery. It’s a journey that involves confronting fears, challenging limiting beliefs, and cultivating self-compassion.

It’s about embracing the full spectrum of human emotions, fostering authentic relationships, and aligning your actions with your values.

By taking control of your life, you’re not just creating a better present for yourself – you’re also shaping a brighter future. A future where creativity, compassion, and collaboration guide our collective actions. A world where every individual has the opportunity to thrive.

So remember, while life may be unpredictable and often outside our control, how we respond to it is within our reach. That’s the essence of self-mastery and taking greater control of your life.



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