If someone stutters, you know they’re nervous. If someone talks too much, you know they’re anxious.
That’s Communication 101.
However, things are rarely that simple. Indeed, the art of communication can be as complex as the human mind itself. To master it, one needs to understand not just what to say, but also what not to say.
Some people seem to have a knack for it though. And that’s because they avoid these 8 specific phrases.
1) “I guess…”
Confidence is a tricky beast.
When it’s there, you feel like you can take on the world. When it’s not, even the simplest conversations can feel like a battlefield. But the beauty of a confident communicator is that they never let their uncertainty show.
They don’t use phrases like “I guess” that hint at doubt or indecision. Instead, they choose their words with purpose, ensuring their message comes across clearly and assertively.
If you’re a confident communicator, every word you speak is a deliberate choice.
Impressive, isn’t it?
2) “This may sound stupid but…”
Speaking from personal experience, the road to becoming a confident communicator wasn’t always smooth sailing.
I used to start my sentences with phrases like “This may sound stupid but…”. I thought it was a way to shield myself from potential judgment or criticism. But all it did was undermine my own credibility before I even had a chance to make my point.
The day I decided to drop that phrase from my vocabulary was the day my conversations started to change. I noticed people were taking me more seriously and my words carried more weight.
If you’re a confident communicator, you understand that every idea has value and deserves to be heard. Even if it’s not perfect, it could spark a thought, lead to an improvement, or open up a new perspective.
And that’s the power of confident communication.
3) “Maybe we could…”
There’s a subtle yet powerful difference between suggesting an idea and proposing a possibility.
Confident communicators steer clear of phrases like “Maybe we could…”, because they inherently breed uncertainty. These words can create an impression of doubt and make your proposals seem less convincing.
Did you know that our brains are wired to respond more positively to certainty than to ambiguity? It’s true. In fact, studies show that people are more likely to agree with a statement or proposal that sounds definite and confident.
So, if you’re a confident communicator, you express your thoughts clearly and directly, leaving no room for ambiguity.
That’s not just good communication – it’s science!
4) “I don’t know…”
In the world of communication, “I don’t know” can be a slippery slope.
It’s not that confident communicators have all the answers. They don’t. But they understand the impact of these three words on their credibility and the perception others have of them.
Instead of admitting outright that they don’t have an answer, a confident communicator is more likely to say something like “Let me find out for you” or “I’ll get back to you on that”. This not only maintains their credibility, but also shows their willingness to take initiative and responsibility.
If you’re a confident communicator, you see a question you can’t answer not as a setback, but as an opportunity to learn something new.
It’s all about perspective, isn’t it?
5) “It’s your fault…”
I’ve come to realize that blaming others is a surefire way to shut down effective communication.
In my own experience, I’ve found that using phrases like “It’s your fault” can instantly create a defensive atmosphere and hinder open dialogue. Confident communicators don’t seek to point fingers but aim instead for resolution and understanding.
I learned this the hard way when a project I was leading didn’t go as planned. The easy route would have been to blame my team, but I knew that wouldn’t lead to any productive outcome. So, I chose to say “Let’s see where we can improve,” instead of “It’s your fault.”
The result? We had a constructive conversation analyzing our missteps and planning for future success.
A confident communicator knows the power of their words. They use it wisely to build bridges, not walls.
Hard-learned lesson, but worth it.
6) “I’m sorry, but…”
Apologies can be a powerful tool in communication. They can mend fences, express empathy, and show respect. However, when followed by a “but”, they lose their sincerity.
Confident communicators understand that combining an apology with an excuse or justification can come off as insincere or even passive-aggressive. Instead, they apologize when necessary and let it stand on its own.
For instance, instead of saying “I’m sorry, but I was really busy”, a confident communicator would say “I’m sorry I didn’t get back to you sooner. I had a lot on my plate.”
Seems simple, yet it’s an art. A confident communicator knows that sometimes less is more, especially when it comes to apologies.
7) “Trust me…”
The beauty of communication lies in its subtlety. Confidence isn’t about explicit commands or requests for trust; it’s about earning it through your words and actions.
Confident communicators typically avoid phrases like “Trust me”. They understand that asking for trust doesn’t instill it — rather, it can raise suspicion or doubt.
Instead, they focus on demonstrating their trustworthiness through consistent actions, reliable information, and a respectful attitude. They let their behavior and character speak for them, understanding that trust is something to be earned, not requested.
That’s the hallmark of a confident communicator: they recognize that actions speak louder than words.
8) “Actually…”
This seemingly harmless word is often used to correct or contradict someone. However, confident communicators know it can come across as condescending or dismissive.
Instead of using “Actually…” to correct someone, they choose a more tactful approach, focusing on adding to the conversation rather than undermining the other person’s point.
So remember, the way you communicate is just as important as what you communicate. Choose your words wisely.
Final thoughts
If you’ve come this far, you’re likely recognizing the immense power that lies in our choice of words.
Confident communication isn’t about dominating conversations or always having the perfect response. It’s about respect, understanding, and making thoughtful choices.
As Sigmund Freud once said, “Words have a magical power. They can bring either the greatest happiness or deepest despair.”
In the realm of confident communication, choosing to avoid certain phrases isn’t about restricting yourself, but about freeing your conversations from doubt, ambiguity, and negativity.
It’s about enriching your interactions and creating connections that are built on clarity and mutual respect.
If you can master that, you’re not just a confident communicator. You’re a person that people genuinely want to engage with.
And that’s truly powerful, isn’t it?
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