For years, I struggled to make a positive impact when meeting new people. No matter how hard I tried, I always felt like something was off, as though I was unintentionally rubbing people the wrong way.
It wasn’t until I took a hard look at my own habits that I realized the problem wasn’t what I wasn’t doing—it was what I was doing.
Turns out, there were tiny habits I had picked up over the years that were sabotaging my ability to connect with others. These weren’t glaringly obvious behaviors but small, subtle things that created the wrong impression.
The good news? Once I became aware of these habits and let them go, everything changed. Not only did I feel more confident, but people began responding to me more warmly and genuinely.
If you’ve ever felt the same way, this post is for you. Here are five small habits I stopped doing that made a huge difference—and they might just help you too.
Let’s dive in.
1) Not listening actively
Bestselling author Stephen Covey once wrote, “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” This used to be me, down to a tee.
I would nod along, waiting for my turn to speak or thinking about what I was going to say next instead of actually focusing on the person in front of me. It wasn’t that I didn’t care—I just thought being quick with a response made me seem engaged and interesting. In reality, it often made people feel unheard and dismissed.
However, this all changed when I made the conscious decision to start listening with the goal of understanding. Instead of rushing to jump in, I began paying full attention to what people were saying—looking them in the eye, letting them finish their thoughts, and pausing before responding.
This small shift made a world of difference. Not only did it help me build deeper connections, but it also gave people the impression that I genuinely valued their input—which, to be fair, I did, but I hadn’t been showing it before.
2) Neglecting my body language
Did you know that some experts say more than half of communication happens through body language?
I didn’t fully grasp this until I realized how much my nonverbal cues were affecting the way people perceived me.
For years, I paid little attention to my posture, facial expressions, or gestures. I’d cross my arms without thinking, avoid eye contact when I was nervous, or fidget during conversations. To me, these habits felt natural, but to others, they often came across as disinterest, discomfort, or even defensiveness.
Once I became aware of this, I started making small but impactful adjustments. I began uncrossing my arms, leaning in slightly when someone was speaking, and maintaining comfortable eye contact. I also practiced smiling more—it’s such a simple gesture, but it can instantly make you seem approachable and friendly.
These subtle changes didn’t just improve how others saw me; they also boosted my own confidence. My body language started communicating openness and warmth, which helped me make better connections and leave a much stronger first impression.
3) Avoiding vulnerability
Have you ever felt the pressure to appear perfect during your first interaction with someone?
I certainly have. I used to believe that showing any form of vulnerability was a sign of weakness, especially when meeting someone for the first time. I thought that keeping my guard up and presenting myself as polished and “put-together” would make the best impression.
But in reality, it had the opposite effect—it made me seem distant and unrelatable.
As renowned author and researcher Brené Brown put it, “Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity.”
People don’t connect with perfect. Realizing this was a revelation for me.
Once I let go of the need to seem flawless and started embracing vulnerability, everything shifted. I stopped pretending to have all the answers and wasn’t afraid to laugh at my mistakes or admit when I didn’t know something. I shared real, honest stories about myself, and in turn, others felt comfortable opening up too.
4) Not using people’s names
So this might seem like a pretty small point, but the effects are huge.
I first realized this when reading How to Win Friends and Influence People (highly recommend, by the way). Author Dale Carnegie writes, “A person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.” That quote stuck with me, and when I reflected on it, I realized I wasn’t using people’s names nearly as often as I should.
Instead, I used to call people “mate,” “guy,” or whatever generic word came to mind. I didn’t think it was a big deal at the time—it felt casual and friendly—but it turns out it can come across as dismissive, especially to older people or in more formal settings.
Once I started making an effort to address people by their names, I noticed an immediate shift. People seemed more engaged, more at ease, and genuinely happier during conversations. Using someone’s name adds a personal touch—it shows that you see them as an individual and that you value them.
As an added bonus, this habit also helped me remember names better. The simple act of saying a name out loud during a conversation reinforces it in your memory, which makes future interactions so much smoother.
5) Ignoring the power of a smile
Last but not least, let’s talk about something so simple yet so impactful: a smile.
For years, I underestimated just how powerful a genuine smile could be. I wasn’t necessarily walking around frowning, but I often kept a neutral or serious expression, especially when meeting new people. I thought it made me appear calm and collected, but in reality, it made me seem unapproachable and distant.
Smiling, I’ve learned, is one of the easiest ways to put others at ease and make a great first impression. It’s like a nonverbal handshake—a way to silently communicate warmth, openness, and positivity.
Once I started making a conscious effort to smile more, everything changed. People seemed more comfortable around me, conversations flowed more naturally, and I even felt more confident and relaxed in social settings.
The best part? Smiling is contagious—when you smile, others often can’t help but smile back, creating an instant connection.
It’s such a small gesture, but it has an outsized impact. If you’re looking for an easy way to improve your first impressions, don’t underestimate the power of a genuine smile—it might just be your secret weapon.
Final thoughts
Improving first impressions doesn’t require a complete personality overhaul—it’s about making small, intentional changes that show people your warmth, respect, and authenticity.
By letting go of these tiny habits, I’ve found it so much easier to connect with others and leave a positive impact.
The best part? These changes are simple and totally doable.
So, if you’ve struggled with first impressions like I did, why not give them a try? You might be surprised at how much of a difference they can make.
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