Everyone feels insecure sometimes—it’s just part of being human.
But without realizing it, you might be showing signs of insecurity in ways that others can easily notice.
People who are confident or very observant can pick up on these small habits right away.
The way you talk, act, and even carry yourself can reveal more about your confidence than you think.
And while it’s okay to have insecurities (we all do), being aware of these behaviors can help you grow, improve your relationships, and feel more in control of how others see you.
If you want to come across as more confident and self-assured, watch out for these 10 habits that might be making you look insecure—without you even realizing it.
1) Overexplaining yourself
Have you ever caught yourself giving a long-winded explanation for something simple?
Maybe you’re late to a meeting, and instead of just saying, “Sorry I’m late,” you launch into a detailed story about traffic, your alarm not going off, and your dog needing an emergency walk.
Overexplaining makes it seem like you’re seeking approval or trying too hard to justify yourself.
Confident people don’t feel the need to explain every little thing—they trust that their words are enough.
Next time you catch yourself overexplaining, pause and ask: “Do I really need to say all this?” Most of the time, a short and simple response is all you need.
2) Checking people’s faces for reactions
Do you ever say something and immediately glance around to see how people react?
It might seem harmless, but constantly checking for approval can make you look unsure of yourself.
Confident people trust what they say and don’t feel the need to monitor everyone’s expressions. They focus on the conversation itself, not on whether others are nodding or smiling enough.
If you catch yourself doing this, try to stay present in the moment. Say what you mean, and let people react however they want.
Trust that your words have value—without needing constant reassurance.
3) Laughing when nothing is funny
I used to have this habit where I’d laugh at the end of my sentences—even when nothing was actually funny.
Someone would ask me a simple question like, “Hey, do you know what time the meeting starts?” and I’d respond with, “Oh yeah, I think it’s at 3… haha.”
I wasn’t laughing because something was amusing—I was doing it out of nervousness. It was like my way of softening what I said, just in case I was wrong or sounded awkward.
But here’s the thing: confident people don’t feel the need to add nervous laughter to their words. They just say what they mean and let it stand on its own.
Once I became aware of this habit, I made an effort to stop. And honestly? I started sounding way more self-assured almost instantly.
So if you catch yourself laughing when nothing is funny, take a second to ask yourself why. You might be more insecure about your words than you realize.
4) Avoiding eye contact
Did you know that in a study by Princeton University, people formed first impressions of others in just one-tenth of a second?
And one of the biggest factors in that snap judgment? Eye contact.
When you avoid looking people in the eye, it can make you seem nervous, unsure, or even untrustworthy. On the other hand, steady (but natural) eye contact signals confidence and presence.
Of course, there’s a balance—you don’t want to stare someone down like a robot. But if you notice yourself constantly looking away, try to hold eye contact just a little longer than feels comfortable.
You’ll be surprised how much more self-assured you come across.
5) Putting yourself down (even as a joke)
It might seem harmless to say things like, “I’m so dumb,” or “I always mess things up,”—especially if you say it with a laugh.
But words matter.
Even when you’re joking, constantly putting yourself down teaches your brain (and everyone around you) to see you that way. Over time, it chips away at your confidence, making insecurity feel like part of your identity.
You deserve better than that.
Confident people don’t have to brag about themselves, but they also don’t tear themselves down. They speak about themselves with the same kindness and respect they’d give to a close friend.
6) Talking too fast
I used to talk way too fast—especially when I was nervous.
If I was in a meeting or a conversation where I wanted to sound smart, the words would just spill out of me like I was in a race to finish my own sentence.
At first, I thought talking fast made me seem more knowledgeable. But over time, I realized it actually did the opposite. It made me sound unsure, like I didn’t fully believe in what I was saying.
Confident people don’t rush their words. They take their time because they trust that what they’re saying is worth listening to.
Once I started slowing down—even just a little—I noticed people paid more attention. My words carried more weight, and I felt more in control of how I came across.
So if you catch yourself speeding through your sentences, take a breath and slow down. What you say matters—so give people the chance to really hear it.
7) Constantly apologizing for no reason
Look, apologizing when you’ve actually done something wrong is a good thing. It shows maturity and self-awareness.
But saying “Sorry” every five seconds for things that don’t need an apology? That’s just insecurity talking.
I’m talking about stuff like:
– “Sorry, can I ask you a question?”
– “Sorry, but I actually ordered this without cheese.”
– “Sorry, I just need a second.”
Why are you apologizing for existing? For having a basic need? For asking for what’s reasonable?
Confident people don’t over-apologize. They say “Excuse me” instead of “Sorry.” They say “Thanks for your patience” instead of “Sorry for the wait.” They own their space without feeling guilty about it.
Save your apologies for when they actually matter. That way, they’ll mean something when you really need them to.
8) Fidgeting too much
Tapping your foot, playing with your hair, cracking your knuckles, or constantly adjusting your clothes might seem like small, harmless habits.
But to someone paying close attention, they scream nervous energy.
Confident people don’t feel the need to constantly self-soothe with movement. They’re comfortable being still, which makes them appear more in control.
If you catch yourself fidgeting, try grounding yourself—take a deep breath, plant both feet firmly on the floor, and relax your hands.
It might feel weird at first, but over time, you’ll start to feel (and look) much more self-assured.
9) Not speaking up when you have something to say
For a long time, I had a bad habit of keeping my thoughts to myself.
In meetings, I’d have ideas but wouldn’t say them out loud. In group conversations, I’d think of something to add but decide it wasn’t “important enough” to share.
And every time I stayed quiet, I felt a little smaller—like I was training myself to believe my voice didn’t matter.
But here’s what I’ve learned: confident people don’t wait for permission to speak. They trust that their thoughts have value, and they share them without overthinking.
The first time I pushed myself to speak up—even when it felt uncomfortable—I realized something. No one was sitting there thinking, “Wow, they shouldn’t have said that.”
In fact, most people were just focused on the conversation itself.
10) Agreeing with people just to be liked
You don’t have to nod along when you don’t actually agree.
You don’t have to say, “Yeah, totally,” when inside, you’re thinking, “Actually, I see this completely differently.”
And you definitely don’t have to pretend to like something just because the people around you do.
I get it—disagreeing can feel uncomfortable. But constantly going along with what everyone else thinks just to avoid conflict or be more “likable” doesn’t make you confident. It makes you invisible.
Confident people don’t agree just to fit in. They’re not afraid to say, “I see it differently,” or “That’s interesting, but here’s my take.” They trust that their opinions are valid, even if they’re not popular.
So stop shrinking yourself for approval. You weren’t put on this planet to be a mirror for other people’s thoughts.
Flexing too hard
Nothing screams insecurity louder than trying too hard to prove yourself.
Bragging about your money, name-dropping important people, constantly reminding everyone how *busy* you are—it doesn’t make you look impressive. It makes you look desperate for validation.
Real confidence is quiet. It doesn’t need to be announced. The most self-assured people don’t go around listing their achievements or making sure everyone knows how smart and successful they are. They let their actions speak for themselves.
Because true confidence isn’t about making other people think you’re important—it’s about knowing you are, whether they notice or not.
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