If you want to be taken seriously at work, it’s not just about what you say—it’s also about the subtle behaviors that might be holding you back without you even realizing it.
I’ve spent years studying human behavior and mindfulness, and one thing I’ve learned is that small habits can make a big difference in how others perceive us. Sometimes, the little things we do—out of habit or even good intentions—send the wrong message.
The good news? Once you recognize these subtle behaviors, you can start letting them go and show up with more confidence, credibility, and impact.
Let’s dive into the eight behaviors you need to say goodbye to if you truly want to be taken seriously at work.
1) Downplaying your own ideas
Many of us have a habit of introducing our thoughts with phrases like, “This might be a silly idea, but…” or “I’m not sure if this will work, but…”
It might seem like a harmless way to be humble, but in reality, you’re undermining yourself before anyone else even has the chance to consider your idea seriously. If you don’t sound confident in what you’re saying, why should anyone else be?
Confidence isn’t about arrogance—it’s about trusting that your contributions are valuable. Instead of downplaying your ideas, try stating them with clarity and conviction.
2) Apologizing too much
I used to start emails with “Sorry to bother you…” or apologize in meetings for sharing my thoughts—until I realized how much it was affecting the way people saw me.
Of course, there are times when an apology is necessary, but constantly saying sorry for things that don’t require it makes you seem less confident and even less competent. I caught myself apologizing for asking questions, for taking up space in conversations, and even for things that weren’t my fault.
Once I made a conscious effort to stop unnecessary apologizing, I noticed a shift. People took my words more seriously, and I felt more self-assured in my interactions.
3) Using weak language
I used to fill my sentences with words like “just”, “kind of”, and “maybe” without even realizing it. “I just think we could try this…” or “Maybe this is a good idea…”
The problem? These words dilute your message and make you sound unsure of yourself. When you use weak language, people are less likely to take your ideas seriously—because even you don’t sound convinced by them.
In my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego, I talk about the power of speaking with intention. The words we choose shape not only how others perceive us but also how we see ourselves. When you strip away unnecessary qualifiers and speak with confidence, you naturally command more respect.
Try saying, “I recommend we do this…” instead of “I just think maybe we should do this…” It’s a small shift, but it makes a big difference in how people respond to you.
4) Avoiding eye contact
Eye contact is one of the most powerful nonverbal signals we have. Studies in psychology show that maintaining eye contact increases perceptions of confidence, trustworthiness, and intelligence.
When you avoid eye contact—whether out of nervousness or habit—you may unintentionally signal insecurity or lack of conviction. People are more likely to take you seriously when you look them in the eye while speaking.
A study published in Psychological Science found that direct eye contact enhances persuasion and engagement. But there’s a balance—too much can feel intimidating, while too little can make you seem disengaged. Aim for steady but natural eye contact, especially when making a key point or listening to someone speak.
A simple way to improve? Practice maintaining eye contact for a few extra seconds in conversations. Over time, it will feel more natural—and you’ll notice a shift in how others respond to you.
5) Speaking too fast
You might think that speaking quickly makes you sound sharp and intelligent, but in reality, it can have the opposite effect. When you rush through your words, it can make you seem nervous, unsure, or even less credible.
Research from the University of Michigan found that people who speak at a moderate pace—rather than too fast or too slow—are perceived as more persuasive and competent. Speaking too quickly can overwhelm your listeners, making it harder for them to absorb what you’re saying.
Slowing down doesn’t just help others take you more seriously—it also gives you more control over the conversation. It allows you to emphasize key points, think more clearly, and project confidence.
A simple trick? Take a slight pause before responding in conversations. It signals that you’re thoughtful and intentional with your words—qualities that naturally command respect.
6) Never saying no
It might feel like being agreeable and always saying yes makes you a team player—but if you never say no, you risk being seen as someone who can be easily pushed around.
Psychologists call this the “likability trap.” You want to be helpful, but constantly agreeing to extra work, last-minute requests, or tasks outside your role can make colleagues respect you less, not more. People take those seriously who set boundaries and prioritize their time effectively.
Saying no doesn’t mean being difficult—it means valuing your own workload and contributions. The key is to be firm yet respectful. Instead of immediately agreeing to something you don’t have time for, try: “I’d love to help, but I’m currently focused on. Can we revisit this later?”
7) Avoiding difficult conversations
It’s tempting to avoid conflict, to brush things under the rug, and hope they resolve on their own. But in a professional setting, avoiding difficult conversations can make people respect you less—not more.
Whether it’s addressing a colleague who keeps overstepping, asking for a well-deserved raise, or giving honest feedback, avoiding these moments doesn’t make them disappear. Instead, it creates tension, frustration, and sometimes even resentment.
The reality? Most people aren’t as opposed to tough conversations as we think. Often, they’re relieved when things are addressed openly and directly. Speaking up doesn’t mean being rude—it means valuing honesty over discomfort.
A simple mindset shift helps: Instead of seeing tough conversations as confrontations, see them as opportunities for clarity and growth. When you start handling issues head-on, people will take you more seriously—because they’ll know you’re someone who isn’t afraid to speak up when it matters.
8) Fidgeting too much
You might not even realize you’re doing it—tapping your foot, clicking a pen, adjusting your hair, or shifting in your seat too often. But these small, restless movements can make you seem anxious or unsure of yourself, even if your words are confident.
Research in body language shows that people who appear more still and composed are perceived as more authoritative. When someone speaks with controlled movements and deliberate gestures, they naturally command more attention and respect.
This doesn’t mean you need to sit stiffly or avoid all movement—just be mindful of unnecessary fidgeting. A good way to practice? Record yourself speaking in a meeting or presentation. You might be surprised by the habits you weren’t aware of.
When you replace nervous fidgeting with purposeful gestures, you project confidence—and confidence makes people take you seriously.
Bottom line: Small shifts, big impact
The way people perceive you at work isn’t just about what you know or how hard you work—it’s also about the subtle behaviors you bring into every interaction.
The good news? Small changes in how you communicate, carry yourself, and set boundaries can make a big difference in how seriously others take you.
The key is awareness. Once you start noticing these habits, you can begin shifting them in a way that helps you project more confidence, credibility, and authority. And when you do, you’ll find that people listen more, respect your input, and trust your leadership.
In my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego, I explore how self-awareness and intentional action can transform not just the way others see us, but the way we see ourselves. When we become more mindful of our behaviors, we naturally begin to show up with more clarity and purpose.
At the end of the day, being taken seriously isn’t about being louder or more forceful—it’s about showing up with confidence, speaking with intention, and carrying yourself with quiet authority. And sometimes, the smallest adjustments can have the biggest impact.
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