It’s easy to overlook how much our words shape the way people see us.
We say things out of habit, without thinking twice, and then wonder why we don’t get the respect we deserve.
The truth is, some of the most common phrases we use in everyday conversation can actually make us seem unsure, untrustworthy, or even weak—without us even realizing it.
I used to think respect was all about actions, confidence, and experience. While those things matter, I’ve learned that the way we communicate plays a much bigger role than we give it credit for.
If you want people to take you seriously—whether in work, relationships, or everyday life—it’s time to cut these phrases from your vocabulary.
1) Stop saying “I’m just lucky”
Downplaying your own achievements might seem humble, but it actually makes people respect you less.
When you say, “I’m just lucky” or “It was nothing,” you’re telling others that your hard work, skills, and effort don’t really matter.
Over time, this can make people take you less seriously and even overlook your contributions.
Confidence isn’t about bragging—it’s about owning what you bring to the table.
Instead of brushing off compliments or attributing success to luck, try simply saying, “Thank you, I worked really hard on that” or “I appreciate that.”
People respect those who respect themselves.
2) Stop saying “This might be a dumb idea, but…”
For years, I had a habit of starting my ideas with phrases like, “This might be a dumb idea, but…” or “I don’t know if this makes sense, but…”
I thought I was being polite—giving people an easy way out if they didn’t like what I had to say.
But all I was really doing was undermining myself before I even had a chance to be heard.
One day, a colleague pulled me aside and said, “You realize you’re making people doubt you before they even listen, right?”
I was asking for respect while basically telling people not to take me seriously.
Now, I just say what I mean. If my idea isn’t perfect, that’s fine—but I don’t need to apologize for speaking up.
3) Stop saying “I’m sorry, but…”
Maya Angelou once said, “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
Apologies should make people feel heard and valued. But when you say, “I’m sorry, but…” followed by an excuse or justification, it does the opposite.
It shifts the focus away from the apology and makes it about you—your reasoning, your defense, your need to explain.
I used to do this without thinking. “I’m sorry, but I was really busy,” or “I’m sorry, but I didn’t mean it that way.”
It wasn’t until someone told me, “You know, every time you say ‘but’ after ‘I’m sorry,’ it kind of cancels out the apology,” that I realized how dismissive it sounded.
If an apology is needed, just say it. “I’m sorry for that.” Full stop. Let people feel heard without immediately trying to justify yourself.
4) Stop saying “I just assumed…”
The human brain is wired to fill in gaps. When we don’t have all the information, our minds automatically make assumptions to create a complete picture.
It’s a survival instinct—but in conversation, it can be a fast track to losing respect.
Saying, “I just assumed…” tells people that instead of asking, clarifying, or making the effort to understand, you jumped to conclusions.
It suggests carelessness at best and arrogance at worst.
I once told a coworker, “I just assumed you’d handle that part,” only to realize I had put them in an impossible situation.
They hadn’t agreed to it, they weren’t prepared for it, and my assumption made me look irresponsible. If I had simply asked instead of assuming, I would have saved both of us a lot of frustration.
Clarity earns respect. If something matters, don’t assume—ask.
5) Stop saying “Does that make sense?”
At first glance, this seems harmless—maybe even thoughtful. After all, you’re just checking in to make sure people understand you, right?
But here’s the problem: when you constantly ask, “Does that make sense?” you’re subtly suggesting that what you just said wasn’t clear or valuable.
Worse, it can make you seem unsure of yourself, as if you need validation for your own thoughts.
I used to say this all the time, especially in meetings. I thought it showed that I cared about being understood.
But then a mentor pointed out that it made me sound hesitant, like I wasn’t confident in what I was saying.
Instead, they suggested I say, “Let me know if you have any questions.” That small shift made a huge difference—it invited conversation without making me seem unsure of myself.
People respect confidence. Speak with clarity, and trust that if someone needs clarification, they’ll ask.
6) Stop saying “I’ll try.”
There’s a big difference between committing to something and leaving the door open for failure.
Saying, “I’ll try,” might seem like a safe way to avoid overpromising, but it actually makes you sound uncertain and noncommittal.
Think about how it feels when someone tells you, “I’ll try to be there,” versus “I will be there.”
One sounds solid and reliable, the other sounds like an excuse waiting to happen.
I used to say this all the time without realizing how weak it made me seem.
A manager once told me, “When you say ‘I’ll try,’ I hear ‘I probably won’t.’”
Now, if I can do something, I say “I will.” If I can’t, I’m honest about it.
People respect those who stand by their words. Speak with certainty or don’t commit at all.
7) Stop saying “It’s just a joke.”
Nothing erodes respect faster than trying to cover up a poorly received comment by saying, “It’s just a joke.”
Humor is great—it connects people, eases tension, and makes conversations more engaging. But when a joke falls flat or offends someone, brushing it off with this phrase signals that you’re unwilling to take responsibility for your words.
Instead of acknowledging the impact, you’re shifting blame onto the person for not finding it funny.
I learned this the hard way. I once made a sarcastic remark in a meeting that didn’t land well.
When someone looked uncomfortable, I quickly said, “Relax, it’s just a joke.”
But instead of lightening the mood, it made things worse.
A colleague later told me, “If you have to say that, it probably wasn’t a good joke to begin with.”
Words have weight. If something doesn’t come across right, own it—don’t dismiss it.
8) Stop saying “I don’t know.” (when you actually do)
There’s nothing wrong with admitting when you truly don’t know something.
In fact, owning up to gaps in knowledge can be a sign of confidence. But saying, “I don’t know,” as a way to avoid effort, responsibility, or commitment? That’s a fast way to lose respect.
I used to say this without realizing how much it held me back. When put on the spot or asked for my opinion, I’d shrug and say, “I don’t know,” even when I had a rough idea or could have taken a moment to think.
Eventually, someone called me out: “You probably do know—just take a second.” That was a wake-up call. I wasn’t avoiding ignorance; I was avoiding engagement.
If you genuinely don’t know something, follow it up with curiosity: “I’m not sure, but I’ll find out.”
And if you do have an idea, trust yourself enough to speak up.
People respect those who are willing to think, contribute, and take responsibility—silence and avoidance won’t get you there.
The bottom line
Words shape perception. The way we speak influences how others see us—more than we realize.
Every phrase we use carries weight. Some build credibility, while others quietly chip away at the respect we hope to earn.
The good news? Small shifts in language can make a world of difference.
Start paying attention to the words you default to. Notice when you downplay yourself, hedge your thoughts, or undermine your own authority.
Catch those moments and reframe them. Speak with clarity, confidence, and intention.
This isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being aware.
Over time, the more you refine your communication, the more people will listen when you speak.
And most importantly, the more you’ll trust yourself in every conversation you have.
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