Life is full of twists and turns, but one of the toughest lessons I’ve learned is knowing when to step away from the things that hold us back.
We often cling to toxic relationships, unfulfilling pursuits, or outdated mindsets—even when they’re obviously doing more harm than good.
If you’ve ever found yourself hanging on to something out of habit, obligation, or fear, then let’s talk about the seven things you should strongly consider leaving behind if you want to grow and live more fully.
Below, I’ll walk you through these seven key areas, drawing on my background in psychology and personal development, as well as research-backed insights.
I believe letting go is an essential step in living a balanced life—and hopefully by the end of this piece, you’ll see why.
1. Toxic relationships
No matter how much history or love you think you share with someone, there comes a point when a relationship becomes more detrimental than beneficial.
We all know relationships can be hard work, but a truly toxic bond drains your emotional and mental energy with little to no redemption. You might find yourself constantly second-guessing your worth, or walking on eggshells just to keep the peace.
Brené Brown once said, “Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.” I wholeheartedly agree.
Setting boundaries (and sometimes walking away) can be an act of self-love. Because if a relationship is chronically hurtful or suffocating, you need to step back—no matter how challenging it feels in the moment.
The pros over at Verywell Mind back this up, saying that knowing when to leave a friendship or relationship is essential for emotional well-being and personal growth. They highlight that while it can be painful, closing the door on a toxic bond opens the door for healthier connections in the future.
2. The need for external validation
Have you ever found yourself posting on social media and then obsessively checking how many likes or comments you get? Or maybe you make life choices based on other people’s expectations, not your own.
While it’s normal to want acceptance and approval, relying too heavily on external validation can keep you stuck in a cycle of insecurity.
From my experience, constantly needing someone else’s stamp of approval robs me of the freedom to forge my own path. It can lead to paralyzing overthinking—wondering if each step meets society’s shifting standards rather than my own inner voice.
And it doesn’t help that we live in an era of endless “highlight reels,” where comparing ourselves to others is practically a reflex.
There’s a huge difference between healthy acknowledgment (like when you complete a project at work and your boss applauds you) and a full-blown addiction to other people’s opinions.
Learning to validate yourself might take time and practice, but trust me, it’s worth every second. When you’re driven by your own purpose and grounded in your own values, you’ll notice how liberating it is to live without constantly looking over your shoulder.
3. An unfulfilling job
We spend a massive chunk of our waking hours at work. So if your job is crushing your soul—draining your energy to the point you’re dreading every Monday—then it might be time to take a hard look at what you’re doing and why.
It’s not that every job has to be your “dream job,” but staying stuck in a place that causes chronic stress, destroys your self-esteem, or lacks alignment with your core values is a recipe for emotional burnout.
I’ve known people who’ve hopped between jobs searching for better pay, but it wasn’t until they found meaningful roles that truly resonated with them that they felt a sense of real fulfillment. Yes, practical considerations—bills, family obligations, career trajectory—are important.
But if you can, start exploring ways to pivot, either within your current company or in an entirely new direction. Small steps count. Even something as simple as taking online courses or networking with mentors can open up new doors.
One of my friends used to say, “The difference between a job you can tolerate and a job you love is the difference between living for the weekends and living for every day.”
If you’re going through the motions every day and feeling empty at the end of it, consider walking away—or at least creating a roadmap that eventually leads you elsewhere.
4. Fear-based living
Fear is tricky. It can save us from real danger but can also hold us back from embracing life’s possibilities.
Whether it’s fear of failure, fear of judgment, or fear of change, letting it take the wheel leads to a life lived in a perpetual comfort zone.
I’ve talked about this before but feel it’s worth revisiting because fear is often the silent killer of opportunity. When you allow fear to rule, you end up saying “no” to what could have been incredible experiences, simply because they involve a level of risk.
You might avoid that job application, that conversation, or that moment where you finally stand up for yourself—all because fear whispers that you’re not ready or it’s not safe.
The reality is, fear never really goes away. There’s always something new to be scared of when you’re challenging yourself.
But turning that fear into fuel rather than a roadblock is the key. Any time I’ve overcome a major obstacle, I was terrified, but I moved forward anyway. And guess what? On the other side of that fear was a sense of exhilaration and growth.
Walking away from fear-based living doesn’t mean ignoring your instincts—it means acknowledging fear, taking the lesson, and choosing to act despite it.
5. Self-limiting beliefs
Have you ever noticed that you can be your own worst enemy? Sometimes, we create narratives about our lives that hold us back. “I’m not good enough,” “I can’t change,” or “I’m just too old/young/inexperienced.”
These are self-limiting beliefs, and they can sneakily set up shop in our minds if we’re not careful.
The challenge with self-limiting beliefs is that they often masquerade as truths. You think, “Well, I’ve never done X before, so I probably can’t do it now.”
It’s easy to forget that we all have the ability to learn and adapt. I’ve had so many people tell me they can’t meditate because they tried once or twice and their minds wandered. News flash: that happens to everyone. Mastering anything is about repetition and resilience.
Confucius reminds us, “It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.” I love this quote because it emphasizes perseverance.
Progress doesn’t have to be monumental or immediate—it just has to be consistent. Let go of the belief that you’re somehow exempt from growth. If you’re willing to put in the effort, you’ll be surprised at what’s possible.
6. Negative self-talk
While self-limiting beliefs are broader narratives about what we can or can’t do, negative self-talk is the in-the-moment chatter that erodes our confidence. It’s the internal voice saying things like, “You’re such an idiot,” or “You always mess up.”
And yes, we can joke about it—sometimes self-deprecating humor lightens the mood—but be careful when it becomes a constant soundtrack in your head.
Negative self-talk might seem harmless at first, but over time it can seriously dent your self-esteem. Our brains tend to internalize repeated messages, and if those messages are all about how unworthy or incapable we are, it becomes second nature to believe them. The scary part is that you end up sabotaging yourself, often before you’ve even started.
A trick I use is to catch myself mid-thought. If I notice my mind launching into a tirade—“Ugh, why did you do that? You’re hopeless!”—I consciously interrupt it and replace it with something more balanced.
You don’t have to go from “I suck” to “I’m a genius,” but try shifting to “I made a mistake, but I can fix it.” This small pivot can dramatically change your mood and your belief in what you can do.
7. The desire to control everything
To wrap things up, let’s talk about control. If you’re the kind of person who feels uneasy when things don’t go exactly as planned, you’re not alone.
I used to think that planning and micro-managing every detail of my life would keep me safe from failure or heartbreak. But reality check: life doesn’t operate by our schedule. Trying to control everything creates a huge amount of stress, both for you and for the people around you.
I’ve seen it in relationships—where one partner tries to dictate how the other should think or act, believing that’s the key to harmony. In careers—where people struggle with delegating tasks because they’re convinced nobody else can do it “right.”
At the root of this controlling tendency is often anxiety or a fear of uncertainty. But ironically, by trying to control everything, you end up feeling even more out of control when things inevitably don’t go your way.
Letting go of the need to manage every outcome can be surprisingly liberating. You start to trust in the process, adapt to changes, and find alternative solutions.
In my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego, I talk about how embracing impermanence can ease our anxiety about control. Accepting that change is the only constant can shift the focus from trying to prevent change to learning how to navigate it gracefully.
Final words
None of us like the idea of leaving things behind. It feels like failure, or at least like losing something we once cherished. But the flip side is that clearing out the unhealthy or unhelpful in your life makes room for healthier, more fulfilling opportunities.
Whether you’re stepping away from a toxic relationship, an unfulfilling job, or your own limiting beliefs, there’s real freedom in walking away from what no longer serves you.
Remember: you have a finite amount of time and emotional energy. Choosing where—and to whom—you give that energy can radically shape the quality of your life.
You don’t have to do it all at once, and you don’t have to do it perfectly. But if something’s draining you more than it’s contributing, consider saying goodbye.
It might feel scary in the moment, but trust me, the benefits far outweigh the discomfort. Letting go can be one of the most empowering decisions you’ll ever make.
And as you create space in your life by walking away from these seven things, you open yourself up to deeper relationships, meaningful work, and a mindset that allows real growth and happiness to take root.
So here’s to your next chapter—one free from toxic ties, constant doubt, and that unrelenting voice telling you to stick with what’s familiar.
Sometimes, the bravest thing you can do is walk away. And in that newfound space, you just might discover a world of possibilities waiting to unfold.
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