7 phrases that instantly reveal a man has poor social skills

Some people just have a natural way with words—they know how to connect, build rapport, and make others feel comfortable. Then there are those who, without realizing it, say things that instantly signal poor social skills.

It’s not always about being rude or offensive. Sometimes, it’s the little phrases that reveal a lack of self-awareness, emotional intelligence, or basic social etiquette.

And unfortunately, these small missteps can hold someone back in both personal and professional life.

If you’ve ever wondered why conversations don’t flow as smoothly as you’d like or why certain interactions feel awkward, it might be time to take a closer look at the way you communicate.

Here are seven phrases that instantly reveal a man has poor social skills—so you can avoid them and build stronger connections instead.

1) “No offense, but…”

If you have to preface a statement with “No offense, but…”, chances are, what you’re about to say is going to be offensive. And everyone knows it.

This phrase is a dead giveaway that someone lacks social awareness. It’s often used as a weak attempt to soften a rude or critical remark, but in reality, it just makes the comment even worse.

Instead of diffusing tension, it signals that the speaker either doesn’t understand how their words affect others or simply doesn’t care.

Socially skilled people know how to give constructive feedback without being abrasive. They don’t need a disclaimer because they choose their words carefully and consider how they’ll be received.

If you catch yourself saying “No offense, but…”, stop and ask yourself: Is there a better way to express this?

Because if what follows is truly offensive, no phrase at the beginning will make it any better.

2) “I’m just being honest”

I used to think that saying “I’m just being honest” was a free pass to say whatever was on my mind. If someone didn’t like what I said, that was their problem—I was just telling the truth, right?

Then one day, I made a comment to a friend about how their new haircut didn’t suit them. It wasn’t meant to be cruel, just an “honest” observation. But I could see the hurt on their face immediately. That’s when it hit me: Honesty without tact is just rudeness in disguise.

People who lack social skills often use this phrase as a shield, as if stating that they’re “just being honest” absolves them of any responsibility for being insensitive.

But socially aware people understand that honesty should be balanced with kindness.

The real skill isn’t in bluntly saying whatever comes to mind—it’s in knowing how to express the truth in a way that strengthens relationships instead of damaging them.

3) “Relax, I was just joking”

This phrase is often thrown out as a defense when someone says something hurtful and gets called out for it. Instead of taking responsibility, they shift the blame onto the other person for not being able to “take a joke.”

But here’s the thing—humor is supposed to make people laugh with you, not feel embarrassed or uncomfortable.

Studies have shown that people with strong social awareness instinctively adjust their humor based on the situation and the people around them.

Those with poor social skills, however, often fail to read the room and then try to cover up their missteps with “Relax, I was just joking.”

Truly funny people don’t need to explain that they were joking—because their humor is actually enjoyable.

If you find yourself using this phrase often, it’s worth asking whether the joke was really funny… or just inconsiderate.

4) “Whatever”

Few words shut down a conversation faster than a dismissive “Whatever.” It’s the verbal equivalent of rolling your eyes—disrespectful, uninterested, and often a sign that someone lacks the patience or emotional intelligence to engage in a real discussion.

Communication is about connection, and people with strong social skills understand that even if they disagree or don’t care much about a topic, it’s important to acknowledge the other person’s perspective.

Brushing someone off with “Whatever” signals that their thoughts and feelings don’t matter, which is a quick way to damage relationships.

Confident and socially aware people know how to express disagreement or indifference without being dismissive.

Instead of “Whatever,” try something like “I see where you’re coming from, but I have a different take on it.” It keeps the conversation open without shutting the other person down.

5) “I’m bad at remembering names”

For a long time, I told myself that remembering names just wasn’t one of my strengths. Any time I forgot someone’s name—whether it was a new coworker, a friend’s spouse, or someone I had met multiple times—I’d shrug it off with “I’m bad at remembering names.”

But the truth is, saying this isn’t an excuse—it’s an admission that you don’t value the effort. People with strong social skills understand that remembering a name isn’t just about memory; it’s about showing respect and making others feel valued.

No one expects perfection, but when someone repeatedly forgets names and doesn’t even try, it sends the message that they weren’t paying attention in the first place.

The good news? Name recall is a skill that can be improved. Simple tricks—like repeating the name right after hearing it or associating it with something familiar—can make a huge difference.

And when you do remember, people notice. Because to them, their name isn’t just another detail—it’s part of who they are.

6) “I’m just wired this way”

Nobody is born with perfect social skills—they’re learned, practiced, and refined over time. But people who struggle socially often use “I’m just wired this way” as a way to avoid growth, as if their personality is set in stone and there’s nothing they can do about it.

This phrase is usually thrown out when someone’s behavior has caused friction—maybe they’ve been rude, impatient, or dismissive—and instead of adjusting, they use their personality as an excuse.

But the reality is, social intelligence isn’t about changing who you are; it’s about being aware of how your words and actions affect others.

People with strong social skills don’t see self-improvement as a burden. They recognize that adjusting how they communicate doesn’t mean being fake—it means being thoughtful.

That small shift in mindset can make all the difference in how others respond to you.

7) “I don’t care what people think”

People who say “I don’t care what people think” usually care more than they’re willing to admit.

But instead of developing the social skills to navigate relationships effectively, they use this phrase as a defense mechanism—an excuse to ignore feedback, dismiss others’ feelings, or avoid self-reflection.

Socially intelligent people understand that caring about how they come across doesn’t mean being a people-pleaser. It means recognizing that relationships—personal and professional—are built on mutual respect and understanding.

They know that how they make others feel directly impacts their opportunities, connections, and overall success in life.

No one is saying you have to seek constant approval. But pretending that other people’s opinions don’t matter at all?

That’s just another way of avoiding responsibility for how you show up in the world.

Bottom line: Words shape perception

The way we communicate isn’t just about exchanging information—it’s about shaping how others see us and how we connect with the world.

Psychologists have long studied the impact of language on social dynamics, and research suggests that the words we choose influence not only how others perceive us but also how we perceive ourselves.

A simple phrase can make someone feel valued or dismissed, respected or ridiculed.

Socially skilled people understand this intuitively. They don’t just speak—they listen, adapt, and consider the weight of their words.

Because in the end, communication isn’t just about getting a point across. It’s about building relationships, earning trust, and leaving people feeling better for having interacted with you.