8 things you don’t realize you’re doing because you have low self-esteem

by Creating Change Mag
8 things you don’t realize you’re doing because you have low self-esteem


When you look in the mirror, what do you see? If you struggle to meet your own gaze, chances are you may be dealing with low self-esteem.

But it’s not just about your reflection. It’s about the subtle, often unnoticed things you’re doing because of this hidden struggle.

You see, a lack of self-confidence isn’t always as clear-cut as we’d like it to be. Rather, it’s buried in the little things; the actions we take, the decisions we make, and the thoughts we harbor.

I’ve put together a list of 8 such things that you might be doing without even realizing it. 8 telltale signs that your self-esteem might need a bit of a boost.

After all, understanding ourselves is the first step towards growth – be it personal or professional.

So let’s delve in and uncover these hidden signs together.

1) You’re constantly seeking validation

Isn’t it strange how a single compliment can light up your day, but a small criticism can bring you crashing down?

We all enjoy a little pat on the back now and then. But if you find yourself constantly fishing for compliments and needing others to validate your worth, it could be a sign of low self-esteem.

You see, when our self-confidence is low, we tend to seek external validation to fill in the gaps. We yearn for that reassurance from others because we struggle to find it within ourselves.

But there’s a danger in this. Because when we base our self-worth on the opinions of others, we’re allowing them to dictate our value.

If you notice this pattern in your behavior, take a moment to reflect. Remember, your worth is not determined by someone else’s opinion of you.

The only validation you truly need is from yourself.

2) You tend to downplay your achievements

Do you remember the last time you achieved something significant and simply shrugged it off as ‘no big deal’? I sure do.

Not too long ago, I landed a big client for my small business. It was a massive win, a real milestone. But did I celebrate? Nope. Instead, I found myself saying things like, “It was just luck,” or “Anyone could have done it.”

What I’ve come to realize is that this tendency to downplay our achievements is another subtle symptom of low self-esteem. It’s this strange need to undermine our successes, as though we’re not worthy of them.

If you find yourself doing the same, it’s time to give yourself some credit. Celebrate your wins, big or small.

They’re a testament to your hard work and dedication, and you deserve to feel proud of them.

3) You struggle with decision-making

Making decisions is a part of everyday life. From choosing what to wear in the morning to picking a restaurant for dinner, these little choices shape our day.

But did you know that a lack of self-esteem can actually make this process more difficult?

It’s true. People with low self-esteem often struggle with decision-making.

The fear of making a wrong choice can be so paralyzing that they would rather not choose at all, or they default to whatever others decide for them.

This stems from a deep-seated fear of failure and rejection. The thought process is often, “If I don’t make the decision, I can’t be blamed if things go wrong.”

If this resonates with you, remember that making mistakes is a part of life. It’s how we learn and grow.

Don’t let the fear of making a wrong decision stop you from making your own choices.

4) You’re overly critical of yourself

We all have an inner critic. It’s that little voice inside our head that picks at our flaws and reminds us of our mistakes.

Most of us can keep this voice in check, but for those with low self-esteem, the inner critic often has the upper hand.

This constant self-criticism can be debilitating. It’s like having a bully in your own mind, always ready to put you down and belittle your efforts.

If you find yourself constantly berating yourself over minor mistakes or focusing more on your flaws rather than your strengths, it might be a sign of low self-esteem.

Remember, it’s okay to make mistakes. They don’t define you.

Instead of dwelling on them, try to use them as stepping stones to become a better version of yourself.

5) You’re always apologizing

“I’m sorry.” Two words I found myself saying way too often, even when I had done nothing wrong. It was as if I was apologizing for my very existence.

If you’re always saying sorry, even when it’s not necessary, it could be a sign of low self-esteem.

You might feel like you’re constantly in the way, a burden, or causing inconvenience to others, even when that’s far from the truth.

I’ve learned that over-apologizing can actually lessen the impact of your apologies when they are truly needed.

It can also give others the impression that you’re unsure or not confident in what you’re saying or doing.

Remember, you don’t need to apologize for being you. You have every right to take up space and express your thoughts and feelings.

6) You avoid compliments like the plague

You would think that someone with low self-esteem would crave compliments, right? Well, it’s not always the case.

Interestingly, people with low self-esteem often struggle to accept compliments. Instead of feeling flattered, they might feel uncomfortable or believe the compliment isn’t genuine.

They may even negate the compliment, turning it into a self-critical comment.

If you find yourself deflecting praise or feeling uneasy when someone says something nice about you, it could be a sign of low self-esteem.

Try to practice accepting compliments graciously. It’s okay to feel good about yourself and recognize your own worth.

7) You often compare yourself to others

In today’s world of social media, it’s easy to fall into the comparison trap.

You see someone’s highlight reel on Instagram or Facebook, and suddenly your own life seems dull in comparison. You start wondering why you’re not as successful, attractive, or happy as they appear to be.

This constant comparison to others can be a sign of low self-esteem. It stems from a place of feeling ‘less than’, and it can be a vicious cycle that only feeds into negative self-perception.

What we see on social media is often a curated version of reality. It’s not fair to compare your behind-the-scenes with someone else’s highlight reel.

Try to focus on your own journey and celebrate your personal progress.

8) You settle for less than you deserve

This is perhaps the most telling sign of low self-esteem.

When you don’t value yourself, you might find that you’re constantly settling – for jobs that don’t fulfill you, relationships that don’t serve you, and situations that don’t respect you.

You might think it’s all you deserve or fear that asking for more will lead to rejection or disappointment.

But here’s the truth: You deserve to be happy. You deserve to be loved, respected, and treated well. You have every right to go after what you want in life.

Don’t settle for less than what you’re worth. Stand up for yourself and believe in your worth. It’s the first step towards building a healthier self-esteem.

Understanding your worth

If you’ve journeyed with me this far, I hope you’ve realized that having low self-esteem isn’t about being humble. It’s about undermining your own value, and that’s not a healthy place to be.

Recognizing these subtle signs is the first step in acknowledging that you might have low self-esteem.

But remember, realization is only the beginning. The real work lies in learning to value yourself, to recognize your worth, and to believe that you deserve the best.

As Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” It’s a powerful reminder that our self-worth lies in our own hands.

Reflect on this as you navigate your journey of self-discovery and growth. And remember, there’s nothing wrong with needing a little help along the way.

We’re all works in progress, learning and growing as we traverse this journey called life.



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