When you’re feeling stressed, you might think you’ve got your coping mechanisms down pat.
You do things like stay busy to avoid thinking about your problems, or convince yourself that everything’s fine even when it’s not, right?
Well, you might be surprised. The things you think are helping could actually be hurting your mental health more than you realize.
Buckle up, because it’s time to challenge some of your long-held beliefs about dealing with stress and anxiety.
1) Keeping yourself busy
We all do it. When things get tough, we throw ourselves into work or hobbies to keep our minds occupied.
It’s easy to convince ourselves that we’re just being productive, right?
The thing is, while staying busy can feel like a good distraction, it’s often just a way of avoiding the real issues at hand.
Instead of facing our feelings and working through them, we’re just pushing them aside and hoping they’ll disappear.
And let me tell you, feelings are stubborn.
They don’t just go away because we ignore them. Instead, they tend to build up over time, intensifying and becoming more difficult to handle.
While keeping busy might seem like a good coping mechanism on the surface, it’s actually just a band-aid solution that can end up causing more harm than good in the long run.
It’s time to face those emotions head-on, rather than trying to outrun them with a packed schedule.
Trust me, your mental health will thank you for it.
2) Bottling up your emotions
Ah, the old “bottle it up and forget about it” approach. I’ll admit it, I’ve been guilty of this one myself.
A few years ago, I was dealing with a lot of stress at work.
Instead of addressing my feelings, I decided to just ignore them. I convinced myself that if I didn’t think about it, it wouldn’t affect me.
But here’s the thing: even though I was ignoring my emotions, they weren’t ignoring me.
They were still there, bubbling under the surface and impacting my mental health in ways I didn’t even realize.
I started feeling more tired than usual, constantly on edge, and found myself snapping at my loved ones over the smallest things.
It wasn’t until a friend pointed out how much I had changed that I realized what was happening.
Bottling up your emotions might seem like an easy way to avoid dealing with something difficult, but all it really does is delay the inevitable.
Sooner or later, those bottled-up feelings will come out—and often in ways you don’t expect.
Believe me when I say that facing your emotions head-on is much healthier than trying to hide them away.
3) Using food as a comfort
We’ve all heard of comfort food. That big bowl of ice cream after a break-up or a plate of your favorite pasta after a hard day at work.
It’s a temporary relief, making us feel better in the moment.
But did you know that using food as a coping mechanism can have serious implications on your mental health?
According to research, emotional eating can lead to unhealthy weight gain and even eating disorders.
And let’s not forget the guilt and self-loathing that often follows those moments of indulgence.
Turning to food for comfort might seem harmless, but it’s really just another way of avoiding our feelings rather than dealing with them.
Instead of finding solace in that extra slice of cake, it’s healthier to face our emotions directly and find other forms of relaxation and self-care that don’t involve calories.
4) Over-relying on positive thinking
Positive thinking is great, right? It keeps us hopeful and motivated. But there’s a point where it can cross the line and actually start damaging our mental health.
When we force ourselves to be positive all the time, we’re essentially ignoring our negative emotions.
We’re denying ourselves the chance to fully experience our feelings and work through them.
This kind of relentless positivity can create a form of emotional repression.
It’s like telling ourselves that it’s not okay to feel sad, angry, or upset, when in fact, it’s perfectly normal.
Emotions aren’t good or bad; they’re simply a part of being human.
By allowing ourselves to feel all our emotions, not just the positive ones, we’re taking a crucial step towards better mental health.
5) Ignoring your needs
I know this one all too well. I used to think that putting others before myself was a virtue. I’d ignore my own needs and feelings in favor of taking care of everyone else.
Sure, it’s good to be there for the people you care about, but when it comes at the expense of your own mental health, it’s not healthy.
I’ve learned that self-care isn’t selfish. It’s okay to say no sometimes.
It’s okay to put yourself first. And most importantly, it’s okay to take care of your mental health.
Remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup.
Take care of yourself, and you’ll be better equipped to help others as well.
6) Trying to control everything
It’s natural to want to have control over our lives. We like to plan, organize, and predict. But the reality is, life is unpredictable. We can’t control everything.
When we obsessively try to control every aspect of our lives, we’re setting ourselves up for constant disappointment and stress.
Because no matter how much we plan or organize, things will go off track sometimes.
Rather than trying to control everything, it’s healthier to learn how to adapt and adjust.
Learning to let go and accept things as they are can greatly reduce stress and improve our mental health. It’s not easy, but it’s definitely worth it.
7) Isolating yourself
When we’re dealing with emotional pain, it’s natural to want to pull away from others.
We might convince ourselves that we’re just trying to avoid burdening others with our problems.
But isolation can actually make things worse. Human beings are social creatures and we thrive on connections with others.
By isolating ourselves, we’re denying ourselves the support and comfort that our loved ones can provide.
And that can lead to feelings of loneliness and depression.
It’s okay to need people. It’s okay to lean on others when you’re struggling. You don’t have to face your problems alone.
8) Not seeking professional help
Perhaps one of the most dangerous coping mechanisms is avoiding professional help when it’s needed.
There’s a common misconception that seeking therapy or counseling is a sign of weakness, but that couldn’t be further from the truth.
Reaching out for help when you’re struggling isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of strength.
It shows that you’re aware of your struggles and that you’re willing to take steps to overcome them.
Never hesitate to seek professional help if you need it.
Your mental health is important, and there are professionals out there who can provide the support and tools you need to cope in healthier ways.
Embracing healthier coping mechanisms
If you’ve read this far, you might be reflecting on your own coping mechanisms and wondering if they’re actually good for your mental health.
And that’s a great start.
Self-awareness is the first step towards adopting healthier coping mechanisms.
It’s about realizing that while it may feel good in the moment to avoid our feelings, in the long run, it’s far more beneficial to face them head-on.
It’s important to remember that there’s no shame in feeling emotions, even the uncomfortable ones.
They’re a normal part of life and they don’t define you or your worth.
As Carl Jung once said, “One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.”
Here’s to embracing healthier coping mechanisms and making our darkness conscious. Because only then can we truly begin to heal.
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