7 phrases classy people use to establish boundaries (without causing offense)

by Creating Change Mag
8 behaviors that communicate empathy without needing to say a word


There’s a fine line between guarding your personal space and coming off as rude.

It’s all about establishing boundaries, but doing it in a way that doesn’t offend or upset the people around you.

This is where the art of classy communication comes into play.

Classy people know how to set their limits while maintaining respect and positive relationships.

They use certain phrases that are assertive yet considerate, allowing them to protect their well-being without burning bridges.

In this piece, I’m going to share with you seven phrases that classy people use to gracefully establish boundaries.

These phrases will help you strike the right balance between self-preservation and social harmony, ensuring your personal growth is not compromised by unnecessary stress or conflict.

Get ready to take some notes and start practicing these phrases—they’re your secret weapon to developing resilience, fostering meaningful connections, and ultimately, achieving success in all aspects of life.

1) “I value our relationship…”

In every interpersonal situation, the balance of maintaining personal space and retaining a positive relationship is key.

Classy individuals understand this delicate equilibrium, and this understanding leads to the use of a crucial phrase.

This phrase is an elegant way of establishing boundaries, without hurting the feelings of the other person.

It not only asserts your needs but also reinforces the importance of your relationship with the other individual.

With this phrase, you’re not just setting a boundary; you’re communicating that you value the person and the relationship enough to speak up about what’s comfortable for you.

Consider it a dual-purpose statement.

Not only does it assert your needs, but it also subtly encourages the other person to respect your limits because they understand that maintaining harmony in the relationship is important to you.

2) “That doesn’t work for me…”

One phrase I often use when I need to delineate my boundaries is, “That doesn’t work for me…”

You see, this phrase is a gentle but firm way of expressing your limits—it’s assertive but not aggressive.

Let me share a personal experience: A few weeks ago, a colleague asked me if I could take on an extra project.

It was a busy period, and I was already juggling multiple tasks.

Accepting another assignment would have meant compromising on the quality of my work and adding unnecessary stress to my life.

So, I said, “I genuinely wish I could help, but that doesn’t work for me at this time. I’m already committed to several projects and want to ensure I deliver quality work.”

The response was respectful and understanding.

My colleague appreciated my honesty and my commitment to delivering quality work.

This phrase has helped me maintain a balance between fulfilling my professional responsibilities and preserving my personal well-being.

3) “Let’s find a compromise…”

“Let’s find a compromise…” is a phrase that echoes the art of negotiation—finding middle ground, a solution that benefits all parties involved.

This phrase is not solely meant for business deals or political negotiations.

It can be used in everyday situations where boundaries need to be set.

For instance, when dealing with conflicting schedules, contrasting preferences, or differing views on a matter.

Interestingly, the word “compromise” originates from the Latin “compromissum”, which means “mutual promise.”

By using this phrase, you’re not just setting your boundaries, you’re also showing a willingness to understand and accommodate the needs of others.

4) “I need some time…”

“I need some time…” is a simple yet powerful phrase that classy people use to establish boundaries.

This phrase allows you to buy some time, process your thoughts, and respond in a way that respects both your boundaries and the other person’s feelings.

Whether it’s a request for a favor, an invitation, or a proposal for a new project, it’s okay to ask for time before giving a response.

This not only shows that you are considerate of the other person’s request but also that you value your own needs and priorities.

Keep in mind, this phrase is not about delaying or avoiding the situation, but about ensuring you make decisions that align with your values and maintain balance in your life.

It’s about giving yourself the space to make thoughtful decisions that respect your personal boundaries.

5) “I’m not comfortable with…”

This is a phrase that has often helped me establish my boundaries—it’s clear, assertive, and leaves no room for misinterpretation.

One particular situation comes to mind: A friend of mine was going through a tough time and had a habit of calling late at night to vent.

While I wanted to be supportive, the calls were disrupting my sleep and affecting my productivity during the day.

So, I decided to have a candid conversation.

I said, “I want to be there for you, but I’m not comfortable with the late-night calls. Can we find a more suitable time?”

The result? My friend understood my perspective and was appreciative of my honesty.

We agreed on a more acceptable time, which worked for both of us.

This alone reminds us that it’s okay to express discomfort as it’s a part of establishing boundaries while preserving the integrity of our relationships.

By communicating your feelings clearly and respectfully, you can create stronger, more balanced connections.

6) “Let’s revisit this…”

“Let’s revisit this…” is a phrase that allows you to assert your boundaries while keeping the door open for future discussions.

It’s a classy way of saying “not now” without entirely shutting down the conversation or idea.

This phrase can be particularly useful in professional settings where you might not be ready to commit to a decision or task immediately.

It shows that you are open to discussing it further once you’ve had the opportunity to evaluate your commitments and priorities.

By using “Let’s revisit this…”, you’re establishing your boundaries and showing respect for your own time and energy, while still valuing the other person’s ideas or requests.

It’s a gentle yet powerful way of maintaining balance in your personal and professional life.

7) “I appreciate your understanding…”

This is the cornerstone phrase in setting boundaries.

It’s a polite way of asserting your limits and expressing gratitude for the other person’s respect towards them.

When you use this phrase, you’re not only setting a boundary, you’re also acknowledging the other person’s empathy and understanding.

It encourages a positive response and fosters mutual respect.

This phrase is a testament to the fact that it’s possible to establish boundaries while maintaining healthy, respectful relationships.

It embodies the essence of classy communication—clear, considerate, and respectful.

Remember, it’s not just about setting boundaries, it’s about how you do it.

Final thoughts: The power of words

The essence of classy communication lies in the power of words and the respect we show towards ourselves and others.

Renowned psychologist Carl R. Rogers once said, “What is most personal is most universal.”

This quote beautifully encapsulates the importance of personal boundaries and how universally they resonate with human interactions.

When we use phrases like “I value our relationship…” or “Let’s find a compromise…”, we’re not just setting boundaries; we’re nurturing mutual respect, understanding, and empathy.

Remember, establishing boundaries isn’t about distancing ourselves but about creating space for healthier relationships and self-improvement.

It’s about finding a balanced approach to interactions that respects our needs as well as those of others.

Words have power—the power to protect, to connect, to influence, and to bring about positive change.



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