7 ways to protect your energy around emotionally exhausting people


Navigating the world of human dynamics can sometimes feel like walking through a minefield, especially when it comes to dealing with emotionally exhausting people.

These are the individuals who leave you feeling drained and depleted, often without even realizing they’re doing it.

The good news? There are strategies you can employ to protect your energy and maintain your equilibrium, even in the face of emotional vampires.

In this article, I’m going to share seven ways to guard your energy around these taxing personalities.

These aren’t quick fixes or magic potions, but practical steps that can help you navigate these interactions more effectively.

Remember, we’re not trying to change or control anyone else here – that’s beyond our reach.

Instead, we’re focusing on what we can control: our own responses, our own boundaries, and our own wellbeing. So let’s dive in!

1) Set boundaries

One of the most effective ways to protect your energy around emotionally exhausting people is to establish clear boundaries.

Boundaries aren’t about being rude or unkind. They’re about taking care of yourself. They’re about communicating your needs and expectations in a respectful way.

When you’re dealing with an emotional energy drain, it’s vital to decide what you’re willing to accept and what you’re not.

This could mean limiting the time you spend with them, refusing to engage in negative conversations, or even distancing yourself entirely in extreme cases.

Setting boundaries can be a tough process, especially if it’s not something you’re used to doing.

But remember, this isn’t about changing the other person’s behavior – that’s out of your control. It’s about changing your response to it.

The key here is consistency. Once you’ve set your boundaries, stick to them. It may be uncomfortable at first, but with practice, it becomes easier.

And the payoff – a protective shield for your energy – is absolutely worth it.

2) Practice self-care

I can’t stress enough how important self-care is when you’re dealing with emotionally draining people. This is something I learned the hard way.

A few years ago, I was working on a project with a colleague who was constantly negative. Every conversation was a complaint, every meeting a gripe session.

I felt myself being pulled into their negativity vortex, and it was impacting my own mood and productivity.

That’s when I realized that I had to take proactive steps to take care of my mental and physical health.

I began scheduling regular breaks throughout my day – moments where I could step away from the negativity and recharge.

I started going for daily walks, meditating, reading inspiring books, and making sure I was eating healthy and getting plenty of sleep.

In retrospect, these self-care practices not only helped me preserve my energy but also gave me the resilience to better handle the emotional drain from my colleague.

Remember, taking care of yourself isn’t just about bubble baths and spa days.

It’s about doing what you need to do to maintain your own emotional health – especially when you’re dealing with emotionally exhausting people.

3) Practice mindfulness

In a world that’s constantly buzzing with distractions, mindfulness can be a powerful tool for protecting your energy.

Mindfulness is all about living in the present moment and observing your thoughts and feelings without judgment.

Did you know that a study found that people who practice mindfulness regularly are better able to regulate their emotions?

This means they’re less likely to get swept up in someone else’s emotional turmoil – a key skill when dealing with emotionally draining people.

When you’re mindful, you’re more aware of your own emotional state.

This can help you recognize when someone else’s negativity is starting to affect you and take steps to protect your energy before it’s drained.

Whether it’s through meditation, mindful breathing, or simply paying more attention to your everyday activities, practicing mindfulness can be a game-changer in managing your energy around emotionally exhausting people.

4) Limit exposure

Sometimes, the most straightforward solution is the most effective. If certain individuals consistently drain your energy, consider limiting the amount of time you spend with them.

Of course, this isn’t always possible—especially if the person in question is a family member, coworker, or boss. But even in these cases, there are ways to reduce your exposure.

You might schedule meetings for specific, limited times or choose to interact mainly through email.

Limiting exposure is not about avoidance or rudeness. It’s about ensuring you have the space you need to recharge and protect your energy.

Remember, it’s okay to put your wellbeing first. Your energy is precious—guard it carefully.

5) Find a supportive network

I’ll be honest, there was a time when I felt pretty alone in my struggle with energy-draining individuals. It felt like I was the only one dealing with this issue, which made it even harder to manage.

That’s when I decided to reach out and connect with others who were experiencing the same challenges.

I found online communities, support groups, and even friends who were going through similar situations.

These networks became my lifeline, a place where I could share my feelings, experiences, and learn from others.

Having a support network can make a world of difference when dealing with emotionally exhausting people.

These are the people who understand what you’re going through, who can offer advice, empathy, and encouragement.

They can remind you that you’re not alone in your struggles and help you find strategies to protect your energy.

If you’re feeling isolated in dealing with emotionally draining individuals, consider seeking out a supportive network.

It could be as formal as a support group or as casual as a group of friends. Either way, remember that there are people out there who understand and are ready to help.

6) Develop emotional intelligence

Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand and manage your own emotions, as well as the emotions of others.

This skill can be incredibly powerful when dealing with emotionally exhausting people.

By increasing your emotional intelligence, you can better understand why certain individuals drain your energy and how to respond in a way that protects your wellbeing.

You’ll be able to recognize the emotional triggers that these people may set off in you and find ways to cope that don’t involve getting sucked into their drama.

Developing emotional intelligence isn’t an overnight process, but there are many resources available to help you get started.

From books and online courses to therapy and coaching, you can find the tools you need to boost your emotional intelligence and safeguard your energy.

7) Remember, it’s not your job to fix them

This is crucial. You might feel compelled to help or change the emotionally exhausting person in your life, but remember – you can’t control other people’s emotions or behaviors.

Trying to fix someone else is not only an exercise in futility, it’s also a surefire way to drain your own energy.

Instead, focus on what you can control: your reactions, your emotions, and your boundaries. Recognize that their emotional state is their responsibility, not yours.

This shift in perspective can be liberating and empowering, giving you the freedom to protect your energy and maintain your peace of mind, even in the face of emotionally exhausting individuals.

In conclusion: It’s about self-preservation

At the heart of the matter, protecting your energy around emotionally draining people is all about self-preservation.

The American psychologist Abraham Maslow, famous for his Hierarchy of Needs theory, believed that self-preservation is the most fundamental human instinct.

It’s about safeguarding our physical and emotional health to survive and thrive.

When dealing with emotionally exhausting people, self-preservation might mean setting boundaries, practicing mindfulness, or finding a supportive network.

It could mean limiting exposure or focusing on developing your emotional intelligence. Most importantly, it means remembering that it’s not your job to fix others.

These strategies are not about changing others or avoiding them altogether.

They’re about equipping yourself with the tools you need to navigate these challenging interactions without compromising your wellbeing.

As you reflect on these approaches, remember that your energy is precious. Protecting it isn’t just a nice-to-have; it’s a must-have for maintaining balance and resilience in your life.

Be kind to yourself, guard your energy diligently, and remember that self-preservation is not just a right – it’s a responsibility.



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