There’s a clear distinction between good communication and, well, not-so-good communication.
This distinction often comes down to the phrases we use. Men lacking basic communication skills often resort to certain phrases that unintentionally create barriers in their conversations.
Psychology has helped in identifying these phrases, giving us insight into what they truly signify.
Here are some of those phrases men tend to use when they’re struggling with articulating their thoughts.
1) Whatever
Now let’s dive into the murky waters of communication.
The word “whatever” is often used by men who struggle with articulating their thoughts and feelings.
The term is vague, non-committal, and often denotes a lack of interest or engagement in the conversation. It’s a catch-all phrase that often frustrates the other party due to its lack of clarity.
Psychology tells us that the use of “whatever” can be a defense mechanism, a way to avoid expressing true feelings or engaging in difficult conversations.
While this phrase may seem harmless on the surface, it often leads to misunderstandings, creating a disconnect between the speaker and the listener.
2) I’m fine
Let’s talk about another phrase I’ve often heard uttered – “I’m fine”.
There was this one time when a close friend of mine seemed unusually quiet and distant. Concerned, I asked him if something was wrong. His response? “I’m fine.”
But his body language told a different story. He was closed off, his smiles forced, his laughter hollow. It was clear he wasn’t ‘fine’, but he wasn’t ready to open up about it.
This phrase is often used as a mask, a way to hide deeper emotions or issues that men may find difficult to articulate. Psychology suggests that this reluctance to express emotions can be attributed to societal norms that often equate emotional expression with vulnerability.
“I’m fine” can be a red flag phrase indicating a lack of communication skills and an inability to express emotions effectively. It’s a sign that the person may need help in developing better ways to communicate their feelings.
3) I don’t know
Let’s tackle the phrase “I don’t know”.
This phrase is commonly used when men find it hard to articulate their thoughts, feelings, or ideas. It’s often an easy escape route from a difficult conversation or a complex decision-making process.
But here’s something to consider. According to a study published in the Journal of Psycholinguistic Research, frequent use of “I don’t know” can indicate a lack of confidence or uncertainty.
The use of this phrase can create a communication gap and may hinder effective dialogue. It’s important to recognize this pattern and work towards improving expressiveness, ensuring open and clear communication.
4) It doesn’t matter
Moving on, we arrive at a phrase that is often a clear sign of communication trouble – “It doesn’t matter”.
Using this phrase can be a way of avoiding conflict or expressing discontent indirectly. More often than not, it’s used when the person actually does care about the topic at hand but lacks the confidence or skill to express their opinion.
Psychology suggests that this form of dismissal can be a defense mechanism, an attempt to avoid vulnerability or potential disagreement.
However, it’s important to remember that effective communication is about expressing thoughts and feelings clearly, even if they may lead to disagreements. Saying “it doesn’t matter” when it actually does can lead to frustration and misunderstandings. It’s a sign that the person might need to work on their communication skills.
5) Can we not talk about this?
Stepping into a more emotional territory, the phrase “Can we not talk about this?” is often a red flag in communication.
This phrase is usually used as a shield, a way to avoid conversations that are uncomfortable or emotionally charged. It’s a clear indication of discomfort in dealing with feelings and emotions.
From a psychological perspective, the use of this phrase can be linked to emotional avoidance, a coping mechanism people use to deal with negative feelings or experiences.
But here’s the thing – avoiding difficult conversations doesn’t make the underlying feelings disappear. Instead, it often intensifies them, leading to emotional distress and strained relationships.
It’s okay to need time before discussing something difficult. But consistently avoiding such conversations might indicate a need to improve communication skills.
6) I guess
The phrase “I guess” comes next on our list.
I’ve found myself using this phrase when I’m uncertain or unconfident about my opinion. It’s a way of saying something without fully owning it, a method of expressing oneself without committing completely to the statement.
Psychology suggests that the use of this phrase often indicates a lack of self-confidence or fear of judgement. It’s like taking a step back from the conversation, allowing yourself to be swayed by others’ opinions.
The thing is, good communication requires us to be assertive and confident in our thoughts and feelings. Resorting to “I guess” can lead to miscommunication and misunderstanding, indicating a need for improved communication skills.
7) Yeah, but…
Next up is the phrase “Yeah, but…”.
This phrase often signifies a reluctance to agree or an intent to contradict. It’s a subtle way of dismissing the other person’s viewpoint before expressing one’s own.
In the realm of psychology, this is often linked to defensive communication. The person may feel judged or cornered, and uses “Yeah, but…” as a way to protect their perspective or deflect criticism.
However, this can lead to a breakdown in communication as it doesn’t foster healthy dialogue or mutual understanding.
8) Never mind
The phrase “Never mind” is the final one on our list.
It’s often used as a conversation ender, a way to retract a statement or dismiss an issue before it’s fully discussed. This phrase can indicate a reluctance to express oneself fully or a fear of the potential consequences of the conversation.
Effective communication requires us to express ourselves clearly and honestly. Resorting to “Never mind” can lead to unresolved issues, miscommunication, and can hinder the growth of relationships. It’s important to foster open and ongoing dialogue, even when it’s challenging.
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