As I grow older, I have realized one thing for my business and professional life- Friends matter. For men, making and keeping friends at the later part of your career and life is more difficult for us than women.
My guest on the Small Business Radio Show is esteemed professor and research psychologist, Dr. Kimberly Horn has worked with top-tier academic institutions, including West Virginia University, The George Washington University, and Virginia Tech. Devoting her career to helping others lead healthier, happier, and more connected lives, she has conducted nearly three decades of health behavior research with an extensive publication record.
Dr. Horn’s background sets the stage for her literary debut, “Friends Matter, for Life”. A natural extension of her work, the book addresses how integral friendships are to our emotional and physical well-being.
Here is what we discussed:
Life’s Increasing Complexity
Dr. Horne explains that as people age, life becomes increasingly complicated. Responsibilities such as caring for aging parents, transitioning into retirement, or adjusting to empty nest syndrome can overshadow the need for social connections. This shift often leads to a decline in the time and energy available for nurturing friendships. It’s not that people forget the importance of friendships; rather, they become overwhelmed by other responsibilities.
Loneliness: An Epidemic
The conversation shifts to the topic of loneliness, particularly in the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic. Dr. Horne notes that loneliness has reached epidemic levels globally. The pandemic disrupted daily routines and in-person interactions, leaving many feeling isolated
Dr. Horne explains the physiological effects of loneliness, stating that it can be as harmful to health as smoking or obesity. Research indicates that loneliness is linked to increased rates of heart disease, stroke, and cognitive decline. Conversely, strong friendships contribute to better health outcomes and longevity, underscoring the need to prioritize these relationships.
The Dynamics of Friendship
Dr. Horne introduces the concept of “dynamic friendship,” which refers to the evolving nature of friendships throughout different life stages. She outlines eight foundational tenets of friendship, including:
- Effective Communication: Open and honest dialogue is crucial for maintaining strong connections.
- Embracing Imperfections: Accepting friends for who they are, flaws and all.
- Nurturing Relationships: Investing time and effort into friendships to keep them strong.
These tenets serve as the building blocks for maintaining strong connections.
Building New Friendships
Dr. Horne suggests starting with familiar environments to make friends, such as community centers or places of worship, where individuals can meet like-minded people. She emphasizes the importance of maintaining even brief connections, such as quick texts or calls, to keep friendships alive.
Dr. Horne encourages listeners to be proactive in seeking connections, especially in light of the societal divisions that have emerged in recent years.
Navigating Social Terrain
Dr. Horne introduces the idea of “social terrain,” which refers to the ever-changing landscape of relationships and how individuals navigate their social environments. She explains that social terrain can vary greatly depending on life circumstances, and understanding this can help individuals adapt their approach to building and maintaining friendships.
Dr. Horne discuss the challenges posed by differing political views among friends and family, particularly during contentious times. Dr. Horne notes that many people have chosen to limit their interactions with those who hold opposing viewpoints, which can lead to further isolation.
The Pain of Friendship Loss
The conversation touches on the emotional pain associated with losing friendships or feeling unreciprocated in efforts to connect. Dr. Horne acknowledges that friendship loss can be particularly painful, as society often lacks the scripts for navigating these complex emotions. She encourages individuals to recognize when a friendship may no longer serve them and to be open to letting go of relationships that feel draining or toxic.
Listen to the entire episode on The Small Business Radio Show.
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