Influence is a powerful tool—used wisely, it can open doors, change minds, and even shape society.
But how do you become influential?
More importantly, how do you do it right, without resorting to manipulation or pressure tactics?
According to psychology, it’s all about cultivating certain habits that anyone can learn.
These habits allow you to authentically motivate and inspire others, while maintaining a balanced and resilient approach.
In this article, we’ll be delving into the seven habits of highly influential people.
These aren’t just tips or tricks; but deeply ingrained patterns of behaviour that can lead to a profound understanding of ourselves and others.
Whether you’re looking to ignite your personal growth, enhance your professional relationships, or simply want to be a more positive force in the world—these habits can pave the way.
Get ready to harness the power of ethical influence!
1) Embrace empathy
Influence isn’t about pushing your own agenda.
It’s about understanding the needs and wants of others, and guiding them towards choices that benefit everyone. This is where empathy plays a crucial role.
Highly influential people have a knack for putting themselves in other people’s shoes.
They understand that empathy isn’t just about feeling what others feel, but also understanding their perspectives and responding with care and respect.
This isn’t just a nice-to-have trait, it’s backed by psychology.
By cultivating empathy, influential people build deeper connections and trust.
They show others that they genuinely care about their well-being, which makes their influence feel less like manipulation and more like guidance.
It takes time and effort to develop empathy as a habit, but the payoff in terms of your ability to influence others authentically and ethically is invaluable.
2) Practice active listening
You might be surprised to know that one of the most influential habits I’ve cultivated isn’t about speaking, but listening.
Active listening, to be precise.
I remember early in my career, I found myself in a heated discussion with a colleague.
We had differing views on how to approach a project.
Both of us were so focused on pushing our own perspectives, we didn’t take the time to truly understand each other’s points of view.
The result? More conflict and less progress.
Then I discovered the power of active listening.
I began to practice it in my daily interactions, and the change was undeniable.
Not only did it help resolve conflicts, but it also allowed me to build stronger relationships and influence others more effectively.
Active listening involves fully focusing on the speaker, providing feedback, and responding thoughtfully.
It’s about showing genuine interest in understanding another person’s thoughts and feelings.
As renowned psychologist Carl Jung once said, “You are what you do, not what you say you’ll do.”
By actively listening, you demonstrate respect for others’ ideas and feelings.
This builds trust and rapport, making others more open to your influence.
The next time you’re in a conversation, remember to listen more than you speak.
It can make a world of difference in your ability to influence others.
3) Show vulnerability
Here’s a raw truth: Nobody is perfect.
We all have our flaws, our struggles, our moments of self-doubt—and that’s okay!
In fact, it’s more than okay—it’s human.
Highly influential people understand this as they’re not afraid to show their vulnerability.
They don’t put on a facade of perfection, but rather embrace their humanity and share it with others.
This might seem counterintuitive in a world that often values strength and confidence above all else.
Showing vulnerability builds trust and authenticity.
It allows others to see us as we truly are—human beings with strengths and weaknesses, just like them.
This creates a deep emotional connection, which is a powerful foundation for influence.
Remember, showing vulnerability is about being real, being human, and allowing others to connect with us on a deeper level.
4) Maintain a positive attitude
Let’s face it, life can get tough.
Challenges arise, plans go awry, and sometimes, things just don’t seem to go our way.
During these times, maintaining a positive attitude can seem like a daunting task.
Trust me, I’ve been there.
But here’s what I’ve learned: Our attitudes have a profound impact on how we influence others.
People naturally gravitate towards positivity—it’s infectious and uplifting.
Highly influential people understand this.
They choose positivity, even in the face of adversity; they don’t deny the reality of their situation, but they choose to focus on solutions rather than problems.
This reminds me of a quote from psychologist Viktor Frankl who survived the Holocaust: “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
Maintaining a positive attitude is not about ignoring negativity or hardship.
It’s about acknowledging them, yet choosing to focus on the potential for growth and improvement.
By doing so, influential people inspire others to do the same.
5) Embrace failure
Here’s a thought that might surprise you: Highly influential people aren’t just good at succeeding, they’re good at failing too.
Sounds counterintuitive, right? But think about it.
Every failure is an opportunity to learn, to grow, to become better.
Influential people understand this—they don’t shy away from failure; they embrace it.
A personal setback once led me down a path of self-doubt and apprehension.
It felt as if I was carrying a massive weight around my neck.
However, later on, I began to view each failure not as a dead-end—but as a stepping stone towards success.
By embracing failure, influential people show resilience and determination.
They show others that it’s okay to fall down as long as you’re willing to get back up and keep trying.
The next time you face a setback, remember: It’s not the end of the world.
It’s just another opportunity for growth—embrace it, learn from it, and let it propel you forward.
6) Cultivate self-awareness
Self-awareness is a critical habit of highly influential people.
It’s the ability to understand your own emotions, strengths, weaknesses, drives, and values, and how they affect your actions and decisions.
Influential people don’t just react impulsively.
Instead, they take the time to understand why they feel a certain way and how best to respond.
They’re not afraid to look inward and confront their own flaws and biases.
By being self-aware, influential people can regulate their emotions better, make more informed decisions, and build stronger relationships.
They’re also more authentic because they’re true to themselves, which makes others more likely to trust and respect them.
Take some time each day to reflect on your thoughts and feelings.
Understand what drives you—the better you know yourself, the more effectively you can influence others.
7) Practice patience
In our fast-paced world, patience often seems like a forgotten virtue.
We want things to happen now, and any delay can feel like a setback.
But here’s something I’ve learned over the years: Patience is an essential habit for influence.
Highly influential people understand that meaningful change takes time.
They know that rushing things can lead to mistakes and missed opportunities; they’re patient with themselves and with others, understanding that everyone is on their own unique journey.
Psychologist Albert Ellis once said, “The art of love is largely the art of persistence.”
While he was referring to love, I believe his words apply to influence as well.
Influence is about building relationships and helping others see different perspectives, and that requires patience.
Practicing patience doesn’t mean sitting back and doing nothing.
It’s about knowing when to act and when to wait, when to push and when to give space.
Stay committed, stay patient, and watch your influence grow.
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