Setting boundaries can feel like a daunting task. It’s a necessary step, however, towards choosing yourself and nurturing your own needs.
This shift often comes with some uncomfortable signs. As you begin to prioritize your well-being over pleasing others, you may experience feelings of guilt, apprehension or even fear.
But don’t be alarmed — these are all signs that you’re stepping into your power and asserting your personal boundaries.
In this article, we’ll explore seven uncomfortable signs that indicate you’re finally setting boundaries and choosing yourself.
Remember, these feelings are not negative; they’re simply markers on your journey to self-love and resilience.
And yes, it’s okay to feel uneasy about it at first.
So, let’s uncover these signs and understand why they’re crucial for our personal and professional growth.
1) Feeling guilty
Ah, the guilt. That nagging, discomforting feeling that creeps up on you when you start putting yourself first.
Guilt is often the first sign that you’re setting boundaries. It’s an uncomfortable feeling, no doubt.
But it’s also a sign that you’re stepping out of your comfort zone and breaking away from a pattern of always prioritizing others.
When you start saying ‘no’ to things that drain you, or when you start choosing your needs over others, guilt may rear its head.
It’s a typical reaction, especially if you’re used to constantly pleasing others or putting their needs before yours.
Don’t let this feeling deter you. It’s an indication that you’re finally prioritizing yourself and setting those much-needed boundaries.
Remember, it’s not selfish – it’s self-care. And self-care is crucial for personal and professional growth.
So embrace the guilt, it’s a sign of progress.
2) Losing friends
When I first started setting boundaries, I noticed a shift in my social circle. Some of my friends didn’t react positively to my newfound assertiveness. It felt uncomfortable, and at times, downright lonely.
I had always been the ‘yes’ person in my group — always available, always agreeing, always accommodating.
But when I started saying ‘no’ more often, some friends couldn’t handle it. The dynamic of our friendship changed, and in some cases, these friendships faded away.
It was painful and uncomfortable to lose people I cared about. But looking back now, I realize it was a necessary part of my journey towards self-preservation and personal growth.
Losing friends is not easy, but sometimes it’s a sign that you’re setting healthier boundaries.
It shows you’re choosing relationships that respect your needs and boundaries over those that drain or exploit you.
It’s a tough but vital step towards choosing yourself.
3) Experiencing resistance
As you start setting boundaries, you might encounter resistance from those around you. This can often feel uncomfortable and even upsetting.
Resistance can come in various forms — pushback, criticism, or even manipulation.
It’s a common response from people who are used to benefiting from your lack of boundaries.
Did you know that the human brain is wired to resist change? It’s true.
Our brains prefer stability and predictability, which is why setting new boundaries can feel so challenging.
Not only are you fighting your own habits and patterns, but you’re also battling against the natural tendencies of your brain.
Remember, experiencing resistance is a sign that you’re making changes that are necessary for your well-being.
It’s an uncomfortable but crucial part of choosing yourself and cultivating resilience.
4) Feeling uncomfortable with downtime
When you start setting boundaries, you might find yourself with more free time.
Suddenly, you’re not always at the beck and call of others, and you’re no longer overcommitting or overextending yourself.
Initially, this newfound downtime can feel strange and even uncomfortable. You might feel restless, anxious, or unsure about what to do with this ‘extra’ time on your hands.
This discomfort is a common sign that you’re successfully setting boundaries.
It’s a signal that you’re reclaiming your time and energy, and choosing to invest them in yourself.
Embrace this downtime as a gift. Use it to rejuvenate, pursue your interests, or simply do nothing at all.
This ‘me time‘ is an essential part of building your resilience and fostering personal growth.
5) Confronting your fears
When I started setting boundaries, I had to face some deeply entrenched fears.
I was afraid of being seen as selfish, not being liked, or even losing my identity as the ‘helpful’ person.
It was a tough pill to swallow. Confronting these fears made me question my self-worth and brought up feelings of insecurity.
But as I continued setting boundaries, I realized that these fears were simply an illusion.
They were not a reflection of my worth or my identity. Rather, they were a manifestation of old beliefs and patterns that no longer served me.
Facing your fears is a challenging but crucial part of setting boundaries.
It’s a testament to your courage and commitment to choose yourself, even when it’s scary. And trust me, it’s worth it.
6) Struggling with self-doubt
As you set boundaries, it’s common to grapple with self-doubt. You might question your decisions, worry about being too harsh, or feel like you’re doing something wrong.
Self-doubt can creep in, especially when your new boundaries are met with resistance or when you experience the discomfort of change.
It’s a natural reaction to stepping outside of your comfort zone and challenging old patterns.
However, struggling with self-doubt doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong. In fact, it’s a sign that you’re growing and evolving.
It indicates that you’re making important changes that are aligned with your well-being and personal growth.
So, when self-doubt arises, take it as a sign of progress.
It’s a signal that you’re choosing yourself and setting healthier boundaries.
7) Feeling empowered
The most significant sign you’re setting boundaries? Feeling empowered.
It might be uncomfortable at first, but eventually, as you assert your needs and protect your energy, you’ll feel a sense of empowerment.
This empowerment doesn’t come without its share of discomfort.
It’s born out of saying ‘no’ when it feels awkward, standing up for yourself when it feels scary, and choosing your well-being even when it feels selfish.
Feeling empowered is the ultimate sign you’re setting boundaries and choosing yourself.
It’s the fruit of your courage to prioritize your needs and the testament to your resilience.
Embrace this feeling; it’s the beacon guiding your journey towards personal and professional growth.
Remember, you are worth it.
Final thoughts: It’s a journey
Understanding and setting boundaries is a journey towards self-love and personal growth.
It’s about recognizing your worth and making the conscious choice to prioritize your needs.
The discomfort that comes with setting boundaries is a natural part of this journey.
It’s an indication of change, growth, and evolution. Remember, growth rarely happens in comfort zones.
Each uncomfortable sign you experience in this process is a stepping stone towards a healthier, more balanced life.
It’s about becoming more resilient and nurturing meaningful connections that respect your boundaries.
So, embrace the discomfort, welcome the change, and remember – it’s not just about setting boundaries; it’s about choosing yourself.
And isn’t that the most empowering choice of all?
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